Seeing myself...loving myself

Feb 7
Missed Z. I still love him. Its ok, just remember love is an emotion, just like sadness. It will run its course when its no longer protected. We first broke up in mid Sept and has not seen each other since then, it is about 5 months. Let it be released and run its course.

Watch the TV drama yday, a very good show of following ur dream. Don't have to modify or justify urself.

Slept after midnight, so wake up 5.30 am, skip hata yoga. Practices were fine. I was laughing loads towards the end. A tot came, trust Universe to provide me with all the orgasm I want. Ha ha.

Mercury in Cancer and 2nd house
Ur thinking become clear when u focus on ur own needs to feel comfortable. U have a natural sense perception and the special ability to communicate in ways that bring tangible results.

Asleep fear - losing ur emotional connections with others.
Result - ur rational mind can become dominated almost entirely by moods, feeling and emotions. This inadvertently forces people to respond with either sympathetic Indulgence or overt rebuff.
Indulging in communications that demands the sympathy of others may expose u to unnecessary rejection.






(Feb 18 - aiyoh...did I just do that? Was my email to the Group...asking for sympathetic indulgence..well, not really...I know I need to bring out our unhappiness upfront. What if no one replies...aiyah...It is the right thing to do. Worst case, I take the lead and re-built the team)

Soul
So true for office matters. But when my emotion is involved, then I go overboard. I used emotions instead and hence I don't dare to read reply for fear of rejection.
Z has ignored my emotional communications so many times till I become thick skin.
I communicate openly so there is no barriers. But I opened up myself for rebuff.

Such paradox, I m known to be such a good communicator and yet there is another side. Will note as here I fear rejection and yet I set myself up for rejection.

As I was driving, I felt such love for myself. I can feel my heart. I need find someone else to project my love. I love myself. Laughter of joy starts to bubble within.