Slowly removing my resistance on volunteering

26 Feb

Father, I was surprised but body woke up 4.30 am on alarm. Very little resistance, just feel surprised and wonder why body is fine despite sleeping late and had a big raw meat steak. Father, I smell flesh. I was eating flesh. There were one or two times I sense it but I ignored. But yesterday afternoon I sensed it and definitely yesterday night as the tenderloin steak was really raw, just the minimal outer layer was cooked.
My body really didn't like it. I was worried I would throw up or purge. Luckily nothing happens. I pity my body. I really worked it to the max.

1. The issue
Healing
U carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound.
Be aware of your wound. Don't help it to grow, let it be healed, and it will heal only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal.
When we are under the healing influence of the King of Water, we are no longer hiding from ourselves or others. In this attitude of openness and acceptance we can be healed, and help others also to be healthy and whole.

Soul
Not sure if this is for me. But perhaps is for the situation I mediated last week.
Can now see P's reaction. When she cannot give an answer or she doesn't know the answer, tendency is to brush it off abrasively. This will make the other person feel small for asking the question or raising the issue or bring up ideas.
Just now her response on whatsapp, I can just see her voicing the word "nonsense" in her mind.

Nine of hearts
Represents helping others by counselling them or in some way sharing our love and compassion with them. It means giving love in a more or less selfless manner.

Soul
Now have to take one of the lead in Isha. Today is volunteer meet. So, Nine of Hearts is a good sign.
Now much lesser resentment that I have to help others. Firstly, knowing it was my need for pampering that raise the resistance and it had impeded me in my growth. Secondly, knowing that under Opposition between my Lunar in Scorpio and Solar in Taurus, the people to teach me are those that I helped, let me knows that I have returns.