Z's Moon in Scorpio and Lunar in Leo

Feb 10 Eve
Just read his Moon in Scorpio. Father, I had south node and lunar in Scorpio. If unchecked, I will become like him. Real sad. He really wanted a soul mate rship but his insecurity led him to ensure full control over others. I already laughed when I saw his change of pix.
The more he refused to talk to me, the more I perceived he lied about his marriage. He has set a date for 14 July and must be working furiously to fulfill it. Ha ha.
I send him my laughter.
I have seen a deeper side of myself and now I can see another side. Let me learn from the mirror that God sent me. If unrequited love is the lesson, I accepted it. I have accepted that I love a guy that can't love me. I will channel the love energy to learn my lifetime lessons of Scorpio.

Moon in Scorpio
To compensate for severe loneliness, u seek for that one other person u can trust, ur soul mate , sensing that this will somehow bring you peace. But because of past life experiences of crisis and betrayal, ur approach to rships is so obsessive and demanding that it often becomes mutually destructive. Instead of finding the peace u seek, u again experience being wounded.

Soul
Yea, his first 2 rships, followed by a bad marriage. I always told him that his ex wife must have loved him a lot for her to hate him now. Z's lunar in Leo lesson is to overcome his fear to accept love.
So, his behavior in Moon in Scorpio ensured that he retained full dominance and control over rships.

Moon in Scorpio
He habitually requires others to give him their unconditional loyalty and allegiance. He become crushed, insecure and angry when they don't.

Soul
No wonder he went into depression when his wife divorced him. He went into anger when I told him I felt insecure with his financials.

Father, there are layers that I need to explore. And he is my mirror

Moon in Scorpio.
When u sense another's vulnerabilities and provokes that person's response, u get to be powerful momentarily, but may feel isolated. There is a basic tendency to feel insecure in financial and sexual rships.

Soul
Yea. He try to dominates me. He wills himself not to call me and at times don't respond. It used to hurt me terribly. But it no longer hurts me now. Now I can see him as a coward and his need to be in power. Father, I have no regrets despite all the pains. Now I know I need to uncover all.

This week Osho's internal influence
Lovers
As we mature, we can begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honours the unique individuality of the other.
We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole.
This love is then based in freedom, not expectation or need. Its wings take us higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.

Soul
When I saw this week cards last Thursdays, I knew it has to do with Z. But I suppressed it, and then got real heavy that I need to release it. But I couldn't, so I went to Osho and drew a Political card, which I slept on. The next day I did my practices, fear is gone and I did it.

But even then, I tot I couldn't achieve The Lovers - mirror and compassion. I always tot Z and I are opposites. The only mirror I saw a month ago was the need to seek approval. I had no idea we are mirrors. Even when I saw the Scorpio in his natal chart, two days ago, it still didn't hit me. It is only when I released my need for control, my fear of facing rejection again and open up and show my forgiveness and love, that I finally see the mirror. Father, thank u.
Now I know that the disruption on completion of my third ebook is to tell me the lessons are not over yet.

My 7thunders is King of Clubs today.

Moon in Scorpio - conscious expression.
For emotional fulfillment, the idea is to first release manipulative control over others. By releasing ur vision of being in command, u r able to find out what others are really made of.
As u entered uncharted ground, and are willing to take risks by letting go of exclusive power, u can interact with another in a manner that is exhilarating to u. When u choose the stimulation of change over a stagnant status quo, u r able to go forward. Then u gain knowledge of what enhances self-worth through an exciting process of risk and unpredictable mystery u need for fulfillment.

Key - Sharing Power
U can gain more knowledge and strength only by first releasing what u already had.
U can then allow urself to go spontaneously in the direction others want, rather than resisting the current. This opens the way for u to interact with them on a deeper level.

By being committed to freedom through renewal, u begin to realise that the way to win most is to share power. Thus u reach a deeper levels by releasing the tendency to control. Finally in the process of expressing loyalty to ur ideals, u contribute potency by exposing ur hidden perceptions to others. U can then experience ur inner worth and the satisfaction of ur transformation coming into expression.

Soul
Somehow I felt this msg is for me too. It was only when I let go of fear of losing, fear of rejection, fear of looking stupid, fear of sadness, fear of Z winning, fear of unrequited love and etc., and finally fear of my blog, that I can finally found Natal Chart book by Jan Spiller and I saw myself and now find my mirror in Z. This is totally unexpected. This is a real grace. Amen..

(Feb 18 - When I was updating my blog, I tot of his this year's Pluto challenge of Five of Clubs (change of mind)...and Result of Queen of Diamond...looks like he couldn't take the risk)