Still on Z

Feb 1
Father, a surprising day. I met S to discuss on website redesign but we ended up shedding light on S life instead.
Both of us didn't plan for it. But it is good as S will then have a better insight on how to redesign my website.
I was not so drained and infact giggle came after the session.
S said I manage to see him clearly in 3 hours. I said I had the gift.
I know I want to share.

This morning I had a dream of Z meeting my family. Yea, he is not goodness but I still miss him. Its been 2 months.
My mind even went backward to say that my files were accidentally deleted so I cannot complete volume 3. That means the issue with Z is not over yet.
It also said I could have preempted the goodbye email since I sent it a few days after Z send me images. Father, let me accept is over. It is not easy to let go, just as it was not easy for S to come out of his comfort rut.
Both S and I hold on because of fear, both wants to be in comfort zone. Both think to move out is loss, we couldn't think of gain. Yea, just accept he is gone. I can have new chance.