Feb 17 Aft 1
Father, I get annoyed whenever others don't take charge when they r designated or appointed or volunteered for leadership. And I get pissed off if they then push the leadership back to me. Why can't they just hold the leadership? Why should they have the rights to delegate/shares when I can't do so.
Just like C. But with her, in the end I truly listen and she wanted out. Now with P, I m not sure. But she used this word frequently which I don't like, "nonsense". Anytime she doesn't get her way, it was nonsense.
Well, nonsense is in this world. I face it daily.
P realised she is out of line. She msg to says that she will send direct. I replied that it was my first choice.
Father, again if I hold back.
Suddenly a tot came, because of Z, I accelerated my search to find my Self. And by holding back my sensitivity on myself and bring it to others, I can have better clarity and responded objectively and empathy. Another example today. Another thing, I now can see P also communicate with Parent mode like SL, which was what trigger me.
About 2 hours later I received the draft mail and P put the additional sentence. Of course I got a slight comment from teacher, which doesn't affect me like before. Of course, negative tot of P's betrayal came. But I dismissed it. I told myself, don't be sensitive.
And this time, knowing my Mars in Libra for maintaining false harmony, I msg her to clarify my stand. She said she didn't understand my rationale and I could have been more patient in explaining. I responded by saying she could have use a different tone of voice. We both understand our reactions.
Father, Nine of Diamonds. I no longer value false harmony. I no longer believe in auto betrayal tots. I now know its my sensitivity. I will use it outward.
Spiritual Astrology
Sun in Cancer
New focus - sharing ur talent for emotional perception with others.
Result - u can care for and about them. Simultaneously, u become more objective and content with ur feelings.
The idea is to use ur natural sensitivity to recognise the emotional pain of others.
By giving others center stage to express their feelings and vulnerabilities, u emphatise with their suffering and ur vitality increases. Others appreciate ur intuitive, loving nature.
By expressing ur gifts for emotional perception in a way that serves others, u realise that ur best security rests in caring for those outside urself
Soul
I used to be envious of C for her sympathetic and loving ways. Now I know I too have it.
Guess being a crab, tendency is to keep myself safe under my protective shell.
Father, amen.
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