Dilemma on leadership

Apr 5 evening
Mmm, I rushed out to have the IK flyer and now got to distribute it alone on my own. I tot there was a cry out for flyer but looks like there is none. Being a leader can be alone.
Perhaps that the reason I don't want to take the lead, too much follow up and no automatic delegation.
Now on the event next week, there be lots to do but again its like me alone. But be a good experience.

P can't make it. My first tot was that she was feeling miffed about what I said on her coming too strong. Second tot is she could have a class. But we cannot wait. And I said that even before I read her mail, which further confirm that she need to be hold back a bit. Father, she is a double edged sword. She is good in what she does but tends to trample people over. Ruling Card's Nine of Spades and Destiny card is Ace of Spades. All about work.  Nine has a tendency of all or nothing. Mmm, not sure if this me reacting from my Lunar in Scorpio. Again 'attacking' others in my mind.out of fear.

To me, the guna way, there is a danger. They claimed they are the highest. Intellect is so subtle as it is too near to the mind. How can I differentiate?
I think all path is equal but depends on individual own inclination. Not one path is greater than the other.
I first enter Isha cos energy is a form that is not known to me, not cultivated by me, cannot be influenced not created by me. It is independent of me. That's why it is impartial. That's why it can work on anyone.
And the best path is to use all.

Finished the Bhagavad Gita lecture. Would like to attend next year. But not keen on their Vedanta classes. P said C is already in and she think I be in too.
Well, I have found my Guru. Besides, the lecture said there are only 3 yoga, not 4. They omitted kriya yoga; the energy.
That's why I m going for, the Energy Father, thank you.

Just now I had tots about R cos I tot I hurt his feelings. Tots comes in but this time since I m aware of my issue. I didn't dwell on it. The old me would be disturbed. But the new me leave it.