My only regret is that I am not physically fit

Apr 3 eve
Osho
Truth exists within and without, but first the seeker has to know the truth within. The day he knows the formless within, the formless becomes apparent outside too. Then form remains only on the surface as an appearance, created by oneself.

The formlessness is free from all descriptions such as truth, wisdom, the infinite, abode of bliss, it is pure gold-like consciousness and knowing. When the formlessness is experienced, then there is no way to say I because I is a limitation.

Soul
Father, just got back from 2nd discourse. The speaker talk about savvat, rajas and tamas. I know have dominant savvat and tamas. My rajas only comes out when I m fearful. Rajas is about action.

She talked about our inner personality made up of mind and intellect. Mind is like a child whereas intellect is an adult. We normally let the mind runs our lives instead of the intellect. We didn't cultivate the intellect.

Father, when she asked about regrets. I only tot of my physical. I wish I m healthy, flexible to play balls. Can run and go up to Kailash. I have made my mind healthy and its time to make my body healthy. I let my body deteriorate to this stage and I can make it healthy.

Father, when she asked about regrets. I only tot of my physical. I wish I m healthy, flexible to play balls. Can run and go up to Kailash. I have made my mind healthy and its time to make my body healthy. I let my body deteriorate to this stage and I can make it healthy.

I am envious of those who doesn't seem to have fat. Who can play sport and run.
Father, my first weight target was to go to 60kg. But now I want more. I want to be healthy without Rheumatoid Arthritis and be in my ideal weight. I recalled I went into panic attack when I reached 57 kg a few years ago and now at 63 kg, didn't even flinch. I was operating from tamas.

Since I cannot make myself physically healthy, I can't judge others for not wanting to be mentally healthy. It's the same principal.

To be mentally healthy is easier for me than to be physically healthy. I used to say that I don't want to pay the price. Perhaps it's because I m not sure if the results be good. So, out of fear of failures, I didn't try. Also food is me, my identity, my pampering. But the resulting weight is my regrets.

Father, u have helped me in mental and now I need help in physical. I know, what's easier for others is difficult for me, vice versa.

Thanks for sending Surya kriya, cos I think that's the key. I want to be able to have my forehead touch my knees.

Father, its 11 pm but I feel alert.