The law of inner progress..it will come back again and again until we become conscious

Apr 12
Father, wake up 7 am to do my practices. Body woke up before 6 am and I slept back, so lethargy sets in.
Took a shower and starts. Did 5 cycles of Surya kriya. I realised I did a short Shavasana. When I m doing Surya, it has to be with full intensity as any tots will disrupt the different breathe counts. So, I did Surya intently.

Did my breathing, Shakti and Shambavi. Father, today there were some tots. None of P as the karma was broken and I love her for it. There were a little tots of Z but I didn't follow. But I realised I have the option not to follow. I just see the cloud of tots and can omit them.

Father, now editing the book of Sri Autobindo, and the following strikes me
The disillusioned vital in a philanthropist becomes a pessimist.

Soul
My destiny card is Nine of Diamonds, Philanthropist. I still cant identify with this. But maybe my blog and website, i shared my inner journey, my greatest treasure.
But I can see myself as a pessimist. But now I can see its because I had unrealistic expectation.


Sri Aurobindo
Our sorrows and sufferings are always the sign of a mixture, and therefore always deceitful.
Joy alone is true.
Because the I in us that embrace all existence and opposites of existence is true.

We will find again certain deadlocked situations that will strike us with an air of deja vu and seem wrapped in a halo of fatality: what we did not conquer in the past returns again and again, each time with a slightly different face, but basically always the same, until we confront it and untie the old knot. Such is the law of inner progress.

Soul
Exactly what I tot of leadership in Isha. It comes back many times. I m ready now to tackle my Saturm in Aries. Tackling Z,the Aries has given me the strength.

Sri Aurobindo
Evolution does not consist in becoming more saintly or intelligent, but in becoming more conscious.
Consciousness is the means, consciousness is the key, and consciousness is the end.

Soul
My tots exactly..first know yourself