Seeking validation as a leader...my main issue

Apr 19 eve
Father, I got the contact from An and gave to the team. Answer was they don't know. And then no further response.

My mind was working overtime judging myself. Saying that others don't like me, don't acknowledge my leadership. I just looked at it. This is the modus operandi. Me, thinking others don't like me, which was due to me thinking I need others.
Alas a person respond saying they need etc.
This time I just replied I too don't know. To me, an idea came and we just pursue. Guess some need detailed instruction.
Mmm, if that's the case, then P is the most suitable one.
Father, I went in again.
Why?
Mmm, Ace of diamond. Not enough valuation on oneself. Continuous searching for others for values.
And in reality I m a Queen of Diamonds, I have more than enough values.

Father, nowadays at the office, my values are already in good foundation. Hence I m not bothered in seeking validation.
Whereas in a volunteer environment and have to take a leadership role; I m now again seeking validation.

Earlier it was with Z and after awhile cos I felt secure. I no longer seek. It's only when we broke off, that seeking came.

Father, yea. No one can validate me except myself. I may not be the best leader. I may not give complete information but I m a good leader. I have build many teams before.

For me now to undergo my karma in Isha is not to worry about validation. Let me validate myself. I already got such a high level of expectation and conscience that I don't need others to do so. I tend to downgrade myself. So sad but true.
Father, to the outside world they tot I m strong and don't need validation. In reality I am needy. And the worst thing is I sought validation from people that I don't need to.

Father, I have recovered from my mental drama and kept team posted on happenings.

Father, now I truly understand Ace and Eight of Diamonds...and also my Destiny Queen of Diamonds

I may be an Ace on the surface. And I need to learn from the Eights so that I can be my Queen of Diamonds.

(Apr 20 -  A day later, I tot...instead of thinking I am not a good leader..why I don't think they are not good supporter??....why always me that is at 'loosing end'...why always me that need to be improved and not others?