Finally can see the pessimism in me

Apr 15 eve
Father, I wonder about my perception on F. Guess I m puzzled on her positivity, which to me, I can't see the rationale. Then I turn back the mirror on myself, I got much but yet can't feel positive. That's my Pluto in Virgo.

In the end, what's is positivity. Perhaps positivity is the starting point of having faith that things will turn out right even if it is not currently so. Yea, actually must learn from F.

Now that issue with P is over, the mind turns to Z. Tots of him came back. I m learning to ignore. And my this week Osho message also says the same thing.

North node in Taurus
Part of cultivating the energy of appreciation involves acknowledging the bounty that is already present in their lives. As they feel gratitude for what life has already brought them, they relax and feel peaceful and loved.
The energy of appreciation pulls them back into themselves and when they are centred this way, they open up to life bringing them more.

Soul
Yes. I m now freed from my job. I have a 3 days work with a good pay. I m financially secured. I have my blog and my website.
I have Isha tools to see me thru any challenges.
I have found my joy. I have released my control and expressed my sadness.
I now have high definition eye sight and connect with nature
I got RA for the past 8 years and have no pain, can do my yoga beautifully.
I have a loving family.
I m truly blessed.
I m also disciplined in my inner journey.

As for friends, I m still sensitive and uncertain. But I have learned to express my emotion.

North node in Taurus
If they don't have partner, they can say appreciation for having family and friends.
This is the key to the fullness they have been seeking. It has nothing to do with what is happening externally; it has to do with the graciousness in accepting and appreciating what they have.

As they take time to appreciate what they do have - with openness and feeling - they begin to experience the fullness of love inside them, which replaces the agitation they have so often felt.

Soul
Yea. It's time to learn appreciation. And appreciation leads to positivity. 

Such a coincidence. Me thinking about F positivity and now picked up NN book which says the same thing.
I m to learn from who I teach.