Apr 1
Father, alarm rang while I was having a dream. I was dreaming of having lunch with an old aunt, who has already passed away. Since I woke up from dream, feel bit groggy but body is fine. Shower and did my practice.
Did 3 cycles of Surya kriya in a slower manner. Went into meditation. A good shavasana. I was totally awake. Breathing meditation was good. So is Shakti and Shambavi.
There were tots coming in but now I don't get hooked. I just let them be. And I can see that the tots keeps on changing. No direction, just like clouds, popping in and out. At times long tots and at times short tots.
Towards the end, suddenly air rushed out of ribcage and stomach was sucked in. Then after awhile, release and breathe in.
Suddenly I starts to sing. I was surprised as there were no song in my mind. And I was singing out loud. I sang 2 songs. It has been a long time since I had this experience, at least 2 years ago after Samyama.
I was driving to work. Some tots come in but I m not hooked. I just let it comes. There is truly a distance between me and my mind. Tot of Z also comes in but somehow it seems far away. It doesn't even pull me or affect me like as it used to be. Z now becomes a memory.
Father, thank u so much. I asked to overcome my entanglement with Z. And u gave me Surya kriya and cholesterol level which changes me. Then on top of it, u gave me Osho Upanishads that tells me what I m experiencing. Everything is now crystallised. What was felt during meditation is now felt outside meditation.
I just want to savour the silence in my mind.
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