Facing my fear consciously...

Apr 27
First time swim breast stroke in  half lap without stopping.
Amen.

When I got into the pool, I was swimming slowly. Bit afraid to move. Then when I did breast stroke, I stopped intermittently as I was feeling afraid. I took a break and remind myself; yes I am afraid. I m feeling fearful of the world. They may only be trying to protect their wounds but I feel it. I told myself, courage is needed. Also I tot of my Pluto in Virgo.
So, with the fear still in me

 I don't want also to do the same.Generally when u suffer u attack. That's why Sadhguru says be happy and u become pleasant.

Evening
Just received news that the column on the newspaper now withheld due to controversy on Sadhguru over Vijii's samadhi case.
N was obviously still mending his wound. Anyway, whatever will be will be. And he said he is busy running around and that means not sending out email either.
I was more disappointed with P, who now said that since teacher said advert no returns, that's means posters and flyers too not much return. True. But we don't give up. She also give feedback that teacher won't like any Tom dick to house the teacher. This time I said, teacher is in the loop. So, if she wants to stop it, let her do it.
Mmm, perhaps P is also protecting her own wound. Anyway, nowadays I can give response to feedback.

Father, I too am nursing my wound. Guess I felt I was alone. But I persevere.

Just checked out my Osho card.
Aloneness
When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter, or celebrate  the fact that our vision is strong enough even to survive the powerful human need for the approval of family, friends or colleagues.

If u r facing such situation now, be aware of how u r choosing to view ur aloneness and take responsibility for the choice u have made.

The humble figure in this card glows with a light that emanates from within. Be a light to urself. Ultimately each of us has to search for our own lights.

Soul
Thank you, Father.
I will undertake Saturn in Aries. This path I got to take alone. I can now see that P, C and M are all playing the right role in my life - I m to grow. Amen.

Once I decided on this, support came.