Questioning my food intake...first time in my life

Apr 3 aft 1
It took nearly one and half week before my stools becomes light colour like babies stool. That's means that's how long the meat stays in our system.

When I shared with my masseur that I tried crocodile meat and it taste like dry chicken. She said how can I eat an animal that's only eat other dead animals.  That caught me off guard. But then aren't I also eat dead animals.

Father, for the first time I m beginning to question my food intake. I was a self declared meat eater. I am a known gourmet food eater. I recalled I used to be afraid of Sadhguru cos worried he asked me to be vegetarian. I even cried my heart out after BSP in ashram as I was so scared that I will stay there and become a vegetarian. Whenever I attend Inner Engineering programme as a volunteer, I will "switched off" whenever Sadhguru's video talks about food. I was even proud that I eat meat and do yoga...

I just purged due to some chili and ginger sauce that I took this morning. Looks like I have to listen to my body.

Yesterday discourse on the Law of Causation impacted me greatly. And I am going back tonight to hear more.

Father, I want my body to be healthy, of good weight and support my yoga practices.

I spent hours on yoga to clear my mind and to heal my body. But I ate food that doesn't support the efforts put into yoga. I m self sabotaging myself.

I used to take pride that I have freedom to eat whatever I want. But now I can see I m like a child.
I just purged again. It is not within my control.
When I ate too much, I become overweight.
When I eat meat, my body becomes stiff