Holding on to volunteering only because of fear of being alone

Mar 25
Woke up 3 am fresh alert despite a late night and slept back. It took me awhile to sleep partly due to noise in the room and also knowing my family is still having the gathering. Glad I took the time off to be with family. My Top 5.

Woke up upon alarm at 4.50 am. Was having a dream and so feeling but groggy.
Took a shower and did Bhoota Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Today only light Dhynalinga as sister and family was sleeping in my sadhana place.
Did my sadhana in my former place. Yoga Namaskar was best I have done so far, quite effortless. Surya kriya was good too and okay in alignment. Breathing was okay. Shakti was good but I took a break to go toilet as stomach was in pain. Despite interruption; I was mopping head on the floor towards the end. Shambavi was good too despite me facing the aircond direction. Towards the end

As I was driving I feel so contented after sadhana; so fulfilled.

This morning it occur to me that I will only miss the bonding of friends in Isha. Then the reason for me to quit as my North node in Taurus is on my seeking my values instead of bonding.
Amen.

Father, truly Uranus; unexpectedly dilemma on volunteering disappears and I can walk away without feeling guilty. The only thing I got to contend with is the fear of loneliness.