Osho - our lives are both predestined and they are not too

Mar 31 aft

Father, a hectic half day. Managed to help K. Actually may be good for her to stay. Just ask her.

Just now spoke to boss. Didn't know I was talking something confidential. Was exchanging tots on contracts. Also asked if he agrees to those terms. Luckily had this chat otherwise I be disclosing to client that I spoke to their incumbent.

Felt bad and I told boss too. She comforted me. Father, slowly but surely I m being authentic.

Destiny, freedom and soul
Trust is a totally different thing. Trust is not fate. Trust simply means that "Whatever happens, I am part of existence, and existence cannot be intentionally inimical to me. If sometimes I feel that it is, it must be my misunderstanding.

Our lives are both predestined and they are not. Both yes and no. And both answers are true for all questions about life.
In a way, everything is predetermined. Whatever is physical in you, material, whatever is mental, is predetermined. But something in u is constantly remains undetermined, unpredictable. That something is your consciousness.

If u are identified with ur body and ur material existence, in the same proportion u are determined by cause and effect. Then u are a machine. But if u are not identified with either body or mind - if u can feel yourself as something separate, different, above and transcendent to body-mind - then that transcending consciousness is predetermined. It is spontaneous, free. Consciousness means freedom; matters means slavery.
So it depends on how u define yourself. If u say, "I am only the body," then everything about u is completely determined. With matter, no freedom is possible.
Once someone has achieved consciousness, enlightenment, he is completely out of the realm of cause and effect. He becomes completely unpredictable, u cannot say anything about him. He begins to live each moment; his existence becomes atomic.

The whole possibility of freedom depends on whether u emphasise ur body or ur consciousness. If ur whole flow of life is just outward.

Soul
True.

Destiny, freedom and soul
Become aware of what comes from the outside and become non identified with it. Then a moment comes when the outside falls away completely. U will be in a vacuum. This vacuum is the passage between the outside and inside, the door. We are so afraid of the vacuum, so afraid of being empty that we cling to the outside accumulations. One has to be courageous enough to disidentify with the accumulation and to remain in the vacuum. If u are not courageous enough, u will go out and cling something, and be filled with it. But this moment of being in the vacuum is meditation. If u are courageous enough, if u can remain in this moment, soon your whole being will automatically turn inward.

Soul
Nothing to nothing last week and this week card.
Father, me wondering whether today was on high because of fear or what??