It is okay to have different values in Isha

Mar 17

Woke up fresh before alarm. I tot I overslept. Actually its was around 3 am. So I slept back and woke up upon alarm at 3.50 am.
Did Bhoota Suddhi and sang guru pooja.
Did 3 cycles of yoga Namaskar; quite good. Did 3 cycles of Surya Kriya. On the first cycle, my hands could barely reach the floor like norm. Luckily hata teacher has warned us about this. After the difficult first cycle, second and third was good. Can feel improvement since two lessons of Angarmadhana.
Breathing was good.
Shakti was good with some head mopping after Kapala Bhakti and towards the end. Shambavi good too Contented silence in the end.

While I was meditating, two tots came in.
1. All the three core persons are not into advancing their sadhanas.
2. All three of them has no 'love' for Sathsang.

So; we are just different. Just as they don't want to advance in sadhana; the same I don't want to advance in volunteering.
So, answers are coming in. Getting clearer on why I actually hold on. It was the bond, it was the fear of loss of approval gained in local Isha.

So, no return on this. Finally able to let go. The next 4 months focus on my practices including of Angamardhana to get ready.

Maturity
I will find something that I enjoy doing, because if I cannot enjoy it I am not going to do it. It is torture. It is violence.
Whenever you are enjoying something, u are centered. Enjoyment is just the sound of being centered. When u are not enjoying something, u are off center. Then don't force it; there is no need. If people thinks u are crazy, let them think u are crazy.
Within a few days u will, by experience, find how u were missing urself. U were doing a thousand and one things, that u never enjoyed, and still u were doing them because u were taught to. U were fulfilling ur duties.

Soul
Thank u for this timely advice.
Yes I did it cos I tot volunteering the only way to repay Sadhguru. Old teacher always said I m not a giver.
Luckily new teacher said there are three types;
1. Volunteering (major)
2. Sadhanas (minor)
3. Sitting in bliss. (Exception)

I started with sadhanas and now ended with sitting in bliss with my shrine. Honestly I have break my limitation, I have grown.

Since young. I always do only what I enjoy. I avoid what I dislike.
Luckily cos I am Ace of Diamonds I enjoy many things and is always open to new experience.

Maturity
The center is available when u are warm, when you are flowing, melting, in love, in joy, in dance, in delight. It is up to u.
Just go on doing only those things u really love to do and u enjoy. If u don't enjoy, stop. Find something else that u enjoy. 
Within a few days, many contacts will be made with the center, and then u will understand what I mean when I go on repeating again and again that which u are seeking is already in u. It is not in the future. It is herenow, it already the case.

Soul
Amen.

Maturity
Except man, in the whole existence nobody suffers from old age; in fact, existence knows nothing about old age. It knows about ripening; it knows about maturing. It knows there is a time to dance, to live intensely and totally as possible, and there is a time to rest.
Existence knows only a circular change from birth to death, death to birth, and it is an eternal process.

Just a little awareness, not much, u can see u are changing every moment. And change means dying - something is being reborn.

U have grown so experienced that u need not repeat those experience again and again. This is transcendence.

Soul
Amen.