Osho tarot - Aloneness

Apr 3
Woke up at 3.50 am upon alarm. Body feels fine cos has a 40 minutes pre-sleep session with the shrine. Quite lots of wind yesterday.
Sat a bit in the toilet and wonder what's next. After I knew that being volunteer guide is not my thing, even solving problem is not my thing. Just got up and shower

Angarmadhana has improved. Sweat loads. Even the balancing can be done. Just need to get the breathing right. Much lesser wind today. Breakout occur only in squatting and mainly lying down posture. So able to do standing posture without stopping. I think I m done by 40 min.
Will let this settle and then I proceed to insert one cycle of Surya kriya.
Breathing was fine. Shakti was good, laughing loads at the end. Shambavi good.

As I was driving some envious tot of Z and wife comes in and Y too. I dismissed it possible cos menses is delayed and hormone is acting overtime. I think I need not believe all my tots. They may not be truly me.

Destiny, freedom and soul
Poor people always thinking about living in palaces while they can enjoy the tree where they are. Rich people long for those things that only poor man can enjoy. Richness has its own richness, poverty has its own richness too. So, when u are rich, enjoy that which a rich man can enjoy. When u are poor, enjoy that which poor men enjoy.

Soul
Tot of being with partner and single.
Perhaps should celebrate my singlehood instead.
This week Osho tarot card - what is needed for resolution. Aloneness.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, an overflowing presence. U are so full of presence that u can fill the whole universe with ur presence and there is no need for anybody.
When there is no significant other in our lives, we can either be lonely or enjoy the freedom mth at solitude brings.
When we find no support among others for our deeply felt truths, we can either feel isolated and bitter or celebrate the fact that our vision is strong enough to survive the powerful human need for approval. 
If u are facing such a situation now, be aware of how you are choosing to view ur aloneness and take responsibility for the choice u made. Ultimately each of us must develop within ourselves the capacity to make our way through darkness without any companions, maps or guide.

Soul
Mmm, yes. Acceptance of my aloneness. Last few days forgot to pray for my husband.

Destiny, freedom and soul
Goodness has nothing to do with earning money. Goodness earns something more valuable; it earns peace of mind. The virtuous person need not be worried about mundane things. He may not have a palace but he will live more blissfully in his hut than a king lives in his palace. The virtuous may not be able to manage a palace but he will be able to manage blissfulness. The cunning will manage to reach the palace but he will lose all peace of mind, he will lose contact with himself.
So if u want the inner world and inner riches, be good, be virtuous, be nice and don't be jealous of those poor people who are simply cunning and earning money.


Soul
Mmm, I m already blissful on my own. So why the need for partner? I can want it but I need not be sad that I don't have it.
When I m with partner; my cherished time alone will be reduced. I won't have time for 4 hours sadhana and half hour of pre-sleep session with the Shrine.
Yes, I m having things that I want.

Destiny, freedom and soul
Life is simply mathematics. U get what u deserve. Just don't ask anything that is not related to ur quality, and then there is no problem.


Soul
One thing I m sure is that my partner must be in Isha and sadhana and aloneness time is important to him too.