Nine of Spades - choosing my own values

Mar 14

 My mind said I lost my job. Lost something I took for many years. After many sweat and tears. Felt I lost my chance for promotion.
But I knew I don't like Beauracrats, I don't like rules. I don't like admin.
It was the same as being a guide. They said its a privilege but I find it a burden. Something I do cos there is no one. Given a choice I prefer to be a meditator. Being a guide is no big deal and I can be a great guide.
But being an admin is not something I like. And most time  I outsource.
 I just want to sit and be.

This year Destiny card
Results - Nine of Spades
Somehow associated with ur Pluto card, this year will be the element of 'ending'. This could be death of someone u know, a job or health habits that have created the problems u may now be experiencing.
This letting go will certainly take u to a better place, a state of mind where u will be more free to live as u please.
U r ending a major chapter in ur life that will lead u to a new beginning that is just around the corner. In this process, there may be things that u have been doing for a long time that u will now let go of and stop doing. Let go and live.

Affirmation -  I learn to let go of people, lifestyle habits, and jobs that have completed their purpose in my life. They are fulfilled and I am free to move on the new and better things.)

Environment
Nine of Diamonds.
Giving up things, people or jobs that u once valued highly will bring many blessings and rewards this year.
On some level, this is a year of let go of the past and prepare to move on to many new and better things.
Usually we are afraid to let go of things in our life, afraid that the loss will deprive us of something important and essential to our happiness. However this year u r protected, and all completions will bring u greater fortune and happiness.

Soul
Woke up 6.30 am
Did Bhoota Suddhi and sang guru pooja without a break. Sat for quite a while.
Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and one cycle of Surya kriya. It was good
Breathing was great. Automatically on arashidharna posture, I could barely move.
Did Shakti, now with slower Kapala Bhakti remembering St said 2 cycle clap. I only did 80 cos foot hurting slightly and also need to finish in time.
It was intense. I was only lose in tots for short periods in three cycles. Head mopping floor after Kapala Bhakti. Even the kaka kriya session was intense.  For the first time did a slow breathing count. Can feel the pressure building up and the heat in my lower spine. Towards the end arms were flapping as if wanted to fly, the hands was flapping too. Its crazy. Breathe was hissing furiously. This continue for a long while.
Did a very quick Shambavi as mom was calling me. 

Father, thanks. 
Whatsapp my two close mediator friends and they support me. Yes.

Finally. A few months before I said that let me not resist and just do the volunteering work; when I m okay, it will be gone. So truly leaving when I m good.
Today just continued with my wish for my husband and I going to Kailash. That's what I want. St said I m looking more feminine and loving. SJ said the same too.