In letting go, must learn from Z and Y; they are firm

Mar 23
Explosive angarmadha.

Today did Bhoota Shuddi.

Went for my walk and staircase climb. Did a great first cycle stair case, with increased one round and fast one. But on the second cycle stair case, can only do 4 rounds as legs is too tired from yesterday angarmardhana.
This evening got the last session, better not stretch it.

Yesterday, sitting session was a breeze, I can do it effortlessly. Even the sitting as a child, I can do it with some stretch. Was laughing loads, the two times that I tried. Felt like a kid, joy just exploded into laughter, followed by shaking heads and then silence..

My Daily Card
The Seven of Spades

The powerful Seven of Spades will challenge you to rise to higher levels of thinking, speaking and acting. Its challenges will manifest mainly in the areas of work and health, areas where you are likely to be holding some negative patterns that need to be changed. If you are willing to take responsibility for your condition and practice positivity in spite of circumstances, you can realize the powerful spiritual potential of this card and attain new heights. In its highest form, this is the card of FAITH.

Evening
In the afternoon, after reading new teacher email, all my fear jumped out. I truly don't want to do this. I can see my edginess and resentment coming up. My cousin saw me and he said I look so stressed.
He tot that I took a part time job so that I won't be stressed.
I said I am trying to release myself but unable to do so.

During Angarmardhana, the last posture on one leg balancing with head forward and one leg backward. I tot I could, but I couldn't do it. That posture, when mastered is about being able to make decisive decision; something I solely need due to my Ruling Ace of Diamond and also karmic Two of Diamond...

Just now after Angamardhana..
Saw a msg on another meeting. Auto response was to say yes. Five minutes later I said nope.
I told teacher why can't others realised that I am truly not keen.
Teacher said thats because I am soft hearted...I must be 'strong' and firm.
She doesnt' want to hear my complaining in another 2 weeks.

As I was driving back, I tot of Z who was firm and now Y who is firm too.
With that I knew that Y won't be calling me again. He made his decision 2 months ago..and it was I who was holding on.
Just as Z made his decision to have children, he hold firm to it....
So, with that I msg P and told her that I want to let go. She has to work with new team.
And if others need to know that I truly don't want; then the only option I have is to completely let go.
Thats my only choice I can take so that others know.

Today, remind me of the day I decided to resign from the 'glamorous' corporate office.
They were going for expansion and I knew I am not happy..
Just like local Isha now going for expansion and I knew I am not happy.
I just want to be on my own at ease.
My whole life I was working so hard, I deserve a break.

Perhaps, thats why it was difficult to let go of Isha.
I already lost my career, and then I lost Z and then couldn't have Y...
So, I hold on to Isha..well, it is time..I am willing to let go of everything...
I will have faith, that things will be fine...that even if I let of volunteering, my Isha friends will still be there.
I will have faith, that there is abundance out there for me...
For now, I needed to be myself..to be my happy self once more.


Destiny
Six of Diamonds
Six of Spades

When this powerful stabilising influence is present in your cards, u can bet there will be some sort of settling of accounts. It could also represent a time we have an opportunity to discover a special purpose in our life that will lead us into a special destiny. If u feel drawn to a certain occupation or mission when this card is present, it could be one that opens up an entirely new and powerful direction in ur life.

This can indicate lack of change in location or type of work or the lack of sale or purchase of real estate. Everything will tend to remain static during this period.
Remember u always receive exactly what u give to others and during this period, u may have to unexpectedly pay off some outstanding obligations. Give more to receive.
By tuning in to ur most subtle tots and feelings now, u can make a strong connection to exactly what is ur life's purpose  is.

Six of Spades (fate, karma, paybacks from the past in many forms.)
Strongest form of karma cards. U can expect a smoothing out of affairs in the realm of health and work. It will bring some much needed peace.
Sometimes events happen under this card influence that are things which we were destined to so at sometime in our life. Often this change the course of our life, always for the better, even though at the time the events may not seem so good or life enhancing.
This may lead u to perform a special Mission in life, one that uplift others.
This is the card of FATE.

Now understand on this Uranus card.
Last period was on Jack of Heart, I hold on...
This period, unexpectedly, I can let go..
It is finally settlement.

Now understand on this Uranus card.
Last period was on Jack of Heart, I hold on...
This period, unexpectedly, I can let go..
It is finally settlement. I finally going to master myself