A final send off for Z...he is no more in my life

Dec 4

Body wake up around 6 plus and I knew it was too early and I slept back.
Woke up at 7.30 am with alarm.
Light the shrine and sang the guru pooja...I was dancing :)
Did 5 cycles of Surya Kriya...improved..
Breathing was lovely and I sat for a long while.
Shakti was lovely too..love it
Shambavi was good too.
Towards the end, just singing non stop.
Plough back was great...
I am so blessed that the shrine came to me....

After practices, I go near to the shrine, sat there.
I just said thanks to each of them individually.
I thank Sadhguru for loving me
I thank Dhynalinga for bringing me silence
I thank Linga for granting my wishes
I reaffirm my desires, my husband and I will be going to Kailash next year.
When I was saying my desires a few times in my mind..there were just silence from the mind. No contradiction..nothing..just acceptance.
I know my wishes will be fulfilled.

These next 2 to 3 months, my boyfriend will happen.
The next 2 to 3 years, my husband and I will go to Kailash, we will make annual trip to Ashram. We both earning our money happily and have good financial security to do whatever we want. We treasure each other company, and we mutually support each other spiritual growth.

Father, thanks to Y, I finally saw my Neptune cards.

My neptune card in Ruling is Five of Diamonds - change of values
My neptune card in Destiny is Queen of Spades - self mastery.

No wonder, I faced so many changes.
Coincidentally the aged 42 to 48 Long range are as follows:
1) Ruling's long range - Five of Diamonds
2) Destiny's long range - Queen of Spades

Alas, I understand Isha truly helps to ease the changes.
And I know Z helped to make me change my value of relationship. I now truly know what i want in my partner, what i truly want in my marriage and in my life.
Amen.

Father, now I understand Sadhguru's wisdom in asking us to keep our spiritual sadhanas and volunteering.
We have too long acted compulsively. Both sadhanas and volunteering is the tool to bring us to act consciously.
Yea, I used to say I want my meat and coffee...but thats actually compulsion acting. But it is so automatically that I think it is my values. Now I know it is not.

Today, I make a conscious choice to drink honey hot lemon instead of coffee.
From today onward, conscious action is the key...no more compulsive action.
And the root is conscious thinking vs compulsive thinking.

My Daily Card in Mars
The Ten of Spades
The Ten of Spades is one of the best cards for success and satisfaction in your work and in health, though you may also expect to work very hard when it is present. Overcoming of all obstacles in work and health are the attributes of this card.

Like the Ten of Wands in the Tarot deck, your work may often seem to be a burden under this card's influence, or you may become obsessed with all the things that you have to do. This card can be a 'workaholic' kind of influence. However, if you have a list of specific goals and want to achieve them successfully, there is hardly a better card to have in your reading than this one.

Soul
I will go for what I want and I want my husband.
Y has given me the profile I need. Alas...
true self mastery is going for what we want fearlessly and having faith that whatever happen is for our good,
Amen.
Finally, today I sense a final send off for Z. I am now truly seeing the blessing of the ending of our relationship.
What is false will fall off..what is not good for me will go away..
What is good for me will come...