Geneen Roth - Meditation is showing up what we already are

Dec 23
Woke up at 3.50 am, body feeling okay despite the cough drops. My throat is sore due to continous cough.
Guess pre-sleep Samyama helps.
Sang guru pooja to my shrine and did 5 cycles of Surya kriya. It was good, much better than expected after one week of little practice. Breathing was okay.
Shakti was good, towards the end some giggle followed by singing. A new song by Tracy Huang - I have been to paradise but not to me.
Time to drop the song on goodbye for summer. No more goodbyes for me.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end contentment silence, just watching my breathe and it was good. The energy was lovely.
Throughout the practices, a little tots of Y and a little tots of work.

Women, Food and God
Meditation
When u spend time watching the mind, u notice the familiar medleys and u notice what is noticing the medleys - the stillness that is apart from them. After awhile, the stillness feels more like u than the top ten medleys. U begin to love that which is not caught up in the hysteria. Love the stillness. Love the spaciousness. Love the peace. Meditation helps u discover what u love that u didn't know u loved because u were so caught up in ur mind that u didn't realise there was anything else there. The value of meditation is that it helps u first discover - and then u bring urself back to - what u love.


Soul
Amen.

Women, Food and God
The kind of meditation I refer to has nothing to do with transcending or leaving or changing urself in any way - and everything to do with its opposite: showing up where u already are.
Meditation is a tool to shake urself awake. A way to discover what u love. A practice to return urself to ur body when the mind medleys threaten to usurp ur sanity.

Soul
Yes, I m not looking at transcending. I m just looking to be my true self.

Women, Food and God
Our minds are masters at blame, but our bodies ... our bodies don't lie. Which is, of course, why so many of us learned to zip out of them at the first sign of trouble.
Since children experience emotional pain in and through their bodies, and since there were no resources for releasing that pain, we become skilled at getting out of Dodge - bolting - in a hurry. In developing the skill to leave our bodies, we avoided being destroyed by the onslaught of potentially fragmenting pain. It was a life saving exit.
But the fast track up and out of the physicality has become maladaptive for two main reasons: it truncates our ability to feel and therefore to move through the situations that arise in our lives. If u don't allow a feeling to begin, u also don't let it end.

Soul
I still have difficulty in staying in my emotions.
I no longer run but still resisting to feel.

Women, Food and God
One breathe and then another   One step and then another. It's that simple. And it doesn't matter how long you've been gone; what matters is that you've returned. With each return, each sound, each felt sensation, there is relaxation, recognition and gratitude. Soon u begin to wonder where you have been all this time. How u wandered so far. And you realised that the torture isn't having these arms or legs; it's being so convinced that God is out there, in another place, another realm that u miss the lavender slip of moon, ur awakened presence.

Soul
Reminder to do breathe watching hourly