Another good closure on Z - acceptance now arrived

Dec 10 eve
Light the candle on the shrine and sang guru pooja.
Samyama was okay. Shoonya went in deep.

On guru pooja, tears came. It was some sadness as I was informed about Z again. Tears start to welt, but somehow I didn't cry as this tot came; Z is a family man. This latest news just goes to show that I was right in my assessment.
I went for him cos I tot I wanted a good family man, one who won't leave. What I wanted was a loyal man.
And while I am a loyal woman, I didn't realised is that I m not a family woman. So, Z was right in choosing his wife, a family woman as he is a family man.
So all in all, at least my perception on him was not totally flawed. It is the lack of clarity on my own values that is flawed.


Dec 23
Also, G is correct on Z being a typical guy who go for his own race, his own culture. Now that I ponder, yea, he thinks in his local dialect, no wonder finds it difficult to write in English. He also watches movies and listen to songs in his local dialect. He wants his wife to converse with his mother...
All in all he is comfortable in his local dialect. To go with me is a far departure from his comfort zone that he doesn't need. He already stretching on his business, he doesn't want to stretch in his home life.
And like G said, his wife looks up to him, whereas I don't. And Z knows that...as I told him too.

Mmm, just because I am game for change and new values due to my Ace of Diamonds...doesn't mean others can be like me. That's why I didn't envisage the difficulty for them....
Father, just need to learn to strenghten my values