Food was my first love, enhances my valuation

Dec 17
This morning did my practices but cut short on breathing as I have not enough time. I did the whole practices with mom in the room. That is a breakthrough. The practices was lovely. I had to control my laughter and movement cos mom was in. Towards the end when she left the room, l let go. So nice.
So great spending time with family and everyone tot so too. We are already planning for next oversea trip.
Had some tot of Y but I let it be. I do miss him but know that this had to end soon. Besides just as he has unexpected love proposal in period of May to July. I too will have my husband before August trip in Kailash. So instead of letting mind giving tots of sad news of me seeing Y getting married; I might as well focus on me getting married. Still no idea on who or how but I leave that to Linga Bhairavi.
No more challenges in romantic relationships. No more thinking I need to strike it out on my own effort.

Women, Food and God
Geneen Roth
I turned to food for the same reasons that people turned to God: it was my sigh of ecstasy, my transport to heaven, my concrete proof that relief from the pain of everyday life was possible. Then it would be gone.

Soul
The old me actually goes ecstatic when the food taste really good; especially if it is desserts. My saving grace is that I go for quality and I can't eat much.
After Isha, I hold on to my food, my first love. And now after 5 years it is no longer my first love. Food is no longer my best friend, just a friend. Coffee is no longer my best friend, just an acquaintance.
So I would say food is my friend rather than god.