Feelings..once I faced them with curiousity instead of judgement..they are not longer fearful

Dec 22 eve
Received a call from M. Sad to hear that she is going through tough patch in just 3 months after marriage. Husband and in law giving her cold treatment. She was a free spirited gal and now this. True enough she regretted that she got married.

My first tot was to share this with Y. Then I stopped myself. He is no longer here. He already said he is fed up with our sharing of spiritual matters. Anyway, just let this be. I just had a major breakthrough today that relationship based on physical or mental can't flourish. So now I want an emotional and spiritual one. No more compulsions on going after the wrong guy. Y has certain values that fit mine but not the right guy. My Ruling first karmic Two of Diamonds is over, let's not relive it. Let's me live with my Destiny second karmic Nine of Diamonds - letting go when the relationship has fulfilled its purpose. Y was here to enable final closure on Z. Let's not turn Y into something else.

Today a breakthrough, I told M about my wish for a partner from Isha. I also said that my partner is going with me to Kailash next year. She didn't laugh at me, she was happy for my wish.

Women, Food and God
When I m willing to question and therefore feel whatever is there - terror, hatred, anger - with curiosity, the feeling relax, because they are met with kindness and openness instead of resistance and rejection.
To the degree that my feelings are familiar, that I have felt them before in similar situations - feeling left out, rejected, abandoned - the willingness to allow them offers a completely different scenario than the situations in which they first developed.
Recurrent negative feelings - those that loop in the same cycles again and again without changing - are unmet knots of our past that got frozen in time for the precise reason that our past got frozen in time for the precise reason that they were not met with kindness or acceptance.
All any feelings wants is to be welcomed with tenderness. It wants room to unfold. It wants to relax and tell its story. It want to dissolve like a thousand writhing snake that with a flick of kindness becomes harmless strands of rope.

Soul
Father, I was disappointed at how Y and I turned out or rather how it ended unexpectedly. But then what else can happen when he is not the right one.
Yes, I got compulsion to cling out of fear of lack. Let me have faith in abundance of partners that are seeking me too.