Truth, not force, does the work of ending compulsions

Dec 20 eve 1
Wayne Dyer on the law of manifestation.
In order to manifest what u want, u have to be aligned with the Source
You get what you are rather than what you want

Soul
Instead of having mental drama of Y because of my fear; trying to bolt. Why not I focus on manifesting what I want. Focus on my wish to Linga.
I like having someone like Y as my husband.
Yes, that's it.
Mind said load. But in the end I just asked for what he is trying to say. Need not speculate. Need not seek validation. Just asked for what he thinks.

Women, Food and God
Our work is not to change what u do, but to witness what u do with enough awareness, enough curiosity, enough tenderness that the lies and old decisions upon which the compulsions is based become apparent and fall away.
U will stop turning to food when u start understanding in ur body, not just ur mind, that there is something better than turning to food. And this time, when u lose weight, u will keep it off.
Truth, not force, does the work of ending compulsion. 

Soul
I first sought my valuation in food. And then I sought my valuation in relationships. It is because I give away my valuation that I seek. Once I know and live my own values; I no longer sees food as adding value to me. Food is just food. Food is not meant to add value; key point is nutrition and well being.
He read my message but didn't respond. The old me would have reacted and would said why put myself up for 'rejection'. The new me knew I can only do what I can and its up to him to do what he can.
 What he does is not a personal reflection of me; is a reflection of him. At least I learned that with Z. Know that my valuation neither increase or decrease on attainment of my partner. My valuation is always intact. From now onward, my approach to my romantic and personal relationship will be like my work. Be courteous, objective, make my stand, do what I can and then it is done. Remembering that it takes two to clap. So need not exert myself unnecessarily. Also Linga is still there delivering my wish.
Amen.

Women, Food and God
When u stop struggling, stop suffering, stop pushing and pulling yourself around food and ur body, when u stop manipulating and controlling, when u actually relax and listen to the truth of what is there, something bigger than ur fear will catch u.
With repeated experiences of opening and ease, u learn to trust something infinitely more powerful than a set of rules that someone else made up: ur own being.
The poet Galway Kinnell wrote that "sometimes it is necessary to reteach ourselves our loveliness."

Soul
I wondered why send Y to me.
Of course this year I knew my Destiny challenge is Two of Hearts; so is Y's Pluto challenge in Ruling.

Pluto in Destiny - Two of Hearts
A major goal for u this year will be to have a successful love relationship or friendship. For this reason, this is the year that u will have to make many changes within ur self in the name of love, friendship or romance.
Whether u are interested in the partner of ur dreams or just good, close friendships, u will have to take a different approach in ur life if u r to be successful in this area.
Love and intimacy requires compromise and cooperation, two of the keynotes for this card of the 'love union'
Ur intense desire for this closeness will cause u to confront some of the parts of urself that tend to keep this intimacy from u.
At times, this may seem very challenging or difficult, but it helps to keep in mind ur reasons for facing this situations - to have more intimacy in ur life.

Affirmation
I create the ideal love partner. Satisfaction in my love life, my friendships,  and lovers are mine to embrace.

Pluto in Ruling - Three of Hearts
This year is likely to be a time of variety and experimentation in ur love life and social life. It may be that u are just getting back into dating again and want to rediscover what kind of relationship is best for u. This might mean dating many different people and this could be something that is challenging and new for u.
On the other hand, u may already be in some sort of situation romantically or socially where ur interest are divided between two or more people. Coming to some sort of decision as to how to handle this would then be a major challenge for u this year.
This card often occurs in the spreads of someone who are having an affair or having doubts about their existing relationship or marriage. It can predicate a divorce or separation. To access the most positive levels of this influence, see urself meeting new and interesting people and learning to express your feelings clearly to everyone that is special to u.

Affirmation
I am learning about what I really want in love and romance by expressing my feelings and being open to new relationships.

Soul
Very true.
Father, instead of seeing Y as a challenge; why not see this as a lesson for me to practice expressing my feelings.