Cosmic Lesson (16)

Feb 21 Eve

Father, Z is like a doorway to the unfoldment of me. Everytime I learnt my lesson with him, it opens up a door to the unfoldment of my destiny.
The first time I had the confrontation, I cleared my issue with brother.
The second time I knew that my past is over.
The third time I didn't react to his timing of response, I cleared my issue on unlovability.
This fourth time I am going back to my forte with identification of people and their issue.. Yea, apart from not attracted to all the partners except fo Raj. Raj was the one that can speak to my heart.

I tot I would never be able to find a guy patient enough for me to flower. And I finally did with Z. In his patience, he broke down all my doors. (Apr 2 - yea, he is a patient man. He broke down my mental doors and my physical doors.)


Late evening
I suddenly missed him. My first tot was to call him. But now I realised its just a need. Me worrying that he would forget about me. Its ok to miss him. Tot of postponing the date so he can study. But not sure if I did Its ok to miss him. Its ok to feel uncertain.
Mmm, suddenly I hear my breathe. Just becos he didn't call, ego says he doesn't want me and infact won't call me and also the date is off.

Wow! What a negative crap.

I too didn't call him. Doesn't mean that I don't want him, doesn't mean that I don't miss him. As for cancel, he would tell me if its off. And if he doesn't, I would call him on Wed. We r both mature people who also like each other but also afraid.

Positive tot Don't let my wound come up. Let it be healed. Z doesn't have time to hurt me, he wants to heal his wound. He want to focus on his thesis and get his Phd so he feels better becos of ex and also becos of me. Ironic, his ex went for smart man and here he is now dating a smart woman. So, he wants to finish his exam. Don't take this personally. Even if he does call of the date, don't take it.