Three of Diamond - fear of not having enough valuation

Feb 28

Earlier when I was informed that the China lady was identified as the potential for Regional Head. I can see my ego reacting. Why not me? Then I remember I turned it down a year ago. Also I know its not my Top 5 Passion. So, I am fine.

Then I was just informed that I am identified to spearhead the budgeting system for the region. I find myself bit miffed cos I was no given a choice. Secondly, I don't want it to eat into my time. Then a tot came, go with the flow. I calmed down somewhat.

Yday, as I was talking to E. I realised that I looked to another channel, ie writing when I find that corporate cannot offer me what I want. My business creativity is not appreciated per se. So, I shift my creativity internally.

So, just go with the flow. Did I asked for it? Nope.

Father, its funny. Just when I drop the hope. It came.
Just confirmed that its not regional but we be the first company to implement the software as we r stable and we r located near the Regional company.


Father, perhaps I am looking out because I am not hopeful for my writing. I was hoping it would grow on its own. Looks like its not happening. I guess same like blog. Part of me saying I will run, just take it as self expression and go back to my comfort zone, the corporate world.
I must follow Z. If u think its easy, it will become easy.

For Z too, I dropped the hope. He suddenly have a second tot of the possibility of making it real. He asked me if I had tot of it. I told him that if I decide to settle down, it can be him because he is a diamond. He is good find.

Coincidentally I stayed in an area he once studied and stayed. I choose a hotel he once worked in. I worked in an office he once worked in. I now base in an office that he had business dealing.

In our last date, he didn't want it to end. It was unexpected for both of us that we clicked so well together. So comfortable, effortless. I liked he doesn't mind the funny me, the laughing me, the smart me, the direct and honest me.