Cosmic Lesson (32) To lose is to live - romance is to play

Mar 10 Aft

My good friend D just drop by. She said the purpose of romance is to force us to play.
Father, I haven't play since eons ago. And Z also hasn't play a few years already. I told D that Z is focused and actively pursued a date out of me despite our busy schedule.
D said its sound like I don't want to compromise. I replied as if he does.
Yea, perhaps its true. Even the pill issue was difficult for me. I only concede this morning to eat it.

Like yday, when Z found out I went for volunteer meet, he asked me why. I said I go there to give them support. He said he need support too and he want me to give him support. I guess he is referring to making us happen. He has been cracking his head to get us a place (despite his busyness) and I am definitely not giving him support.

He is so busy and I guess I am not as busy but I m reluctant to do it cos its like I m more hard up and also I guess I am delaying it.
Looks like, I am not available, not willing to compromise and etc.
Just like in previous group session, I basically ignored him out of shyness. He purposely crack jokes to get my attention and this time sit with me.

The Power of Now
When u r full of problems, there is no room for anything new to enter, no room for a solution. So, whenever u can, make some room, create some space, so that u find the life underneath ur life situation.
Use ur senses fully. Listen to the silence underneath the sounds. Observe ur breathing; feel the air flowing in and out, feel the life energy inside ur body. Allow everything to be. Move deeply into the Now.
You are leaving behind the deadening world of mental abstraction, of time. You are getting out of the insane mind that is draining u of life energy, just as it is slowly poisoning and destroying the Earth. You are awakening out of the dream of time into the present.

Soul
Not there yet for all times. But can assess the Now whenever I am disturbed. And I am able to see my tots of past and future.

The Power of Now
"Problems" means that u r dwelling on a situation mentally without there being a true intention or possibility of taking action now and that u r unconsciously making it part of ur sense of self. U then become so overwhelmed by ur life situations that u lose ur sense of life, of Being.
And when u create problem, u create pain.
All it takes is a simple choice, a simple decision; no matter what happens. I will create no more pain for myself. I will create no more problems.

Soul
That's what I decided on Tuesday. I m still hooked on pleasure but I have unhooked on pain. God will me only happiness.

The Power of Now
U won't make that choice unless u r truly fed up with suffering, unless u truly had enough. And u won't be able to go through with it.
And u won't be able to go through with it unless u access the Power of the Now. If u create no more pain for urself, then u create no more pain for others. U no longer contaminate the beautiful Earth, ur inner space, and the collective human psyche with the negativity of problem-making.

Soul
Thanks to T and Z for samyama lesson and practices.



Mar 10 Eve
Father, have tots of missing him. But I connect to my breath and it subsides.

Father, I haven't done much on writing. Been bz on Isha promotion and this weekend is sathsang.

Today did contract nego, my forte. Even E was impressed and the client definitely in awe. E said if I ever I tot of moving, give him a call. I counter by saying if the job is flexi and faciltate overseas, that would be great. Surprisingly when I told MD, she said she didn't want me to go. CEO also said the same thing, that I cannot leave as long as she is still around. Looks like I have made my mark.

As I tot of career progression, I tot of Z. He is already so bz and if I too become bz, we both cannot grow. Besides, my Top 5 is my partner and the joy of insightful writing.