Cosmic Lesson (26) - staying put

Mar 4

Father, I am staying put and go through it.
Coincidentally there were 3 darshan by Sadhguru during Mahashivarathi- success/loss, karma and marriage.

He said that once we make a decision in joy, we stick with it even if it turned out to be horror. If we go yo yo with our decision, we get stuck, we confuse ourselves and others.

This is exactly what I am experiencing. So, will proceed with Z.

On physical, he said if our body keeps memory and if its loose, we can't feel joy and sadness. Since I am tight, no wonder it is more experential for me.

He said that living together is also marriage. That's means Z has 'married' many times.

From now on, Z can go on his own course, he can stay in ignorance. I will use this to be aware.

Now at clinic, finally doing the needful to have what I want. For me, the lessons will always be strong. Like Sadhguru says, if I can't handle it, I would not be facing it. Sadhguru said that high or low time, is always the best time. High time is no challenge, its the low one that needs us to be aware.

Father, why so unfair. For the guys, they grow to be more confident and gals grow to be more uncertain in rships. Why??

A New Earth - Ekhort Tolle Atonement
The beginning of freedom from the pain body(ego) lies first wit the realisation you have a pain body

Soul
Yeap, I now know I have abandonment pain body. Whenever I feel insecure, I start to judge the situation/attack and run. It not only happens in rships but also jobs.
In a way current company gives me security. But now after listening to all the consol, I am no longer as sure. Of course, defense mechanism is searching. This time, I didn't react cos my main focus now is handling abandonment with Z.

A New Earth - Atonement
Then, more importantly in your ability to stay present enough, alert enough to notice whenever pain body become active (conscious presence)

When it is recognised, the pain body can no longer pretend to be you and live n renew itself through you. (Disidentification/depersonalisation)

When u don't identify wit it, it can no longer control your thinking and so cannot renew itself by feeding on your thoughts.

In most cases, it doesn't dissolve immediately, but once you have severed the link between it and your thinking, the pain body begins to lose energy. Your thinking ceases to be clouded by emotion; your present perceptions are no longer distorted by the past. The energy that was trapped in the pain body then changes its vibrational frequency and is transmuted into Presence.
In this way, the pain body becomes fuel for consciousness.
This is why many of the wisest, most enlightened men and women on our planet once had a heavy body

(Apr 17 - yeap, I am practising more awareness because of pain-body. I can now de-link it and it no longer limit my actions.)

Soul
Samyama is the key. Yday when I reacted, I forgot about my abandonment pain body. No wonder 7card can be very spiritual if they let themselves. Father, Seven of Hearts in Saturn will end soon, but the thing is I have Seven of Spade in Uranus and Neptune till end June. Z's birth card is Seven of Spade, my cosmic lesson card. Only consolation is that his Ruling is Jack of Diamond, which soften loads of things.

A New Earth - Atonement
When you realised pain body unconsciously seek more pain, they want something bad to happen.

Since we are unconscious, when we are possessed by pain body and don't know what we are doing. - no responsibilty / no judgement

However, in the greater scheme of things, human beings are meant to evolve into conscious beings and those who don't will suffer the consequences of their unconsciousness. They are out of alignment wit the evolution impulse.

In a higher perspective, it is not possible to be out of alignment wit the evolution of universe, and even human unconsciousness and the suffering it generates is part of that evolution. When you cannot stand the endless cycle of suffering anymore, you begin to awaken. So the pain body too has its necessary place in the larger picture.

The very reason for our existence in human form is to bring that dimension of consciousness into this world

To allow us to be in the moment. To accept the feeling instead of resisting the
feeling and attacking the situation and people and ourselves.

There is a space around your feeling and it comes when there is inner acceptance of whatever you are experiencing at the present moment.

Negative emotion in itself is not unhappiness. Only emotion plus an unhappy story is unhappiness.

The diminishment of pain body, not thru fighting it but through bringing the light of consciousness to it.

(Apr 17 - yeap, I am staying put. I can face it.)

At some level, all seemingly individual pain bodies are connected. When looking at pain body of urself and other, let the attitude be one of interest or curiosity rather than one of criticism or condemnation.

(Apr 17 - I have been condenmning it. I will now look at it with interest as it is not as 'big' as I tot it was)

The present moment is always already the case and therefore inevitable, you can bring an uncompromising inner "yes" to it and so not only create no further unhappiness, but, with inner resistance gone, find yourself empowered by Life itself.

Pain body (negative emotion) and ego (negative thoughts) are close relatives. They need each other. The triggering event is then interpreted and reacted through the screen of a heavily emotional ego.

Amplification/distortion of events is what the pain body wants and needs, what it feeds on.

Approach on handling pain body
Don't react nor confirm the reality of her story, not feed her mind with more tot and her pain body wit more emotion
Allow she to experience whatever she was experiencing at that moment, and the power of allowing lies in non-interference, non-doing
Being present is always infinitely more powerful than anything one could say or do.

The thinking mind cannot understand Presence and so will often misinterpret it. It will say that you are uncaring, distant, have no compassion, are not relating.
The truth is, you are relating but at a level deeper than thought and emotion.

In the stillness of Presence, you can sense the formless essence in yourself and in the other as one.

Knowing the oneness of yourself and the other is true love, true care and true compassion.

Someone who in childhood was neglected or abandoned by parents will likely develop a pain body that becomes triggered in any situation that resonates remotely with their primordial pain of abandonment. A friend arriving late to pick up her up, delay in answering her emails/phone, afraid to leave n don't want to abandon another, afraid to be in situation that may trigger such abandonment, pain body attract men that are not good n they either leave or she had to leave.

(Apr 17 - no wonder I didn't want to let go of J. When I finally did, I was in pain.)

Know ur trigger, be alert n don't be identified wit your pain-body. Bring it out in the open n acknowledge that ur pain body is triggered. In this way, the pain body can no longer renew itself through drama in the relationship and instead pulling you into unconsciousness, will help u to become fully present.