The mind acting on the past (2)

Mar 21 Aft

1. The Issue
Suppression
It is dangerous to keep all those inhibitions inside u. U have forced them into darkness, but from the dark side, they go on influencing ur behaviour.
Find a healing outlet to release whatever tensions and stresses might be building up inside u right now.

Soul
Now have 2 issues, it is all of my past.
With teacher, she is instructive and me don't want to listen to instruction. Since I am below, I have to adhere. I want the role of sathsang guide for my public speaking in future. So, I will pay the price of adherence. Also, I am adhering cos I want to break free of my limitation of arrogance.

As for Z, I will be constantly on my abandonment issue. Part of me saying timing is not right. He is now so busy with business and money tied up. But like he said, connection provided by God. What we do with connection is ourselves? He was willing to break thru his limitation not to let someone else pay so we have our night.
Father, let me remember that. He could have abandon me many times but he didn't. I could have run off many times but I didn't. He said that if I want to run off, must inform him first. That show he is 'staying' mah. He also asked if the reason why I have the urge to run due to him not responding. I said nope. He did respond and he is more upfront vs me. He know what he wants.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see.
Maturity
The inner being is filled with flowers - that carry the quality of springtime and regenerate whenever he goes. This inner flowering and the wholeness that he feels affords the possibility of unlimited movement. He can move in any direction - within and without, it makes no difference as his joy and maturity cannot be diminished by externals.
He has come to a time of centredness and expansiveness - the white glow around the figure is his protection and his ligh.
You are now receiving ur gift, for hard work well done. Your base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.

3. External influence - Participation
Make particpation ur lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy. You could not have dreamed of a better universe.

You have an opportunity to participate with others now to make ur contribution to creating something greater and more beautiful than each of u could manage alone. Your participation will not only nourish u, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.

4. What is needed for resolution?
Clinging to the past.
Past is that which is no longer before u. Future is that which is not yet before u. Present is that which is before u and is slipping out of ur sight.
Its time to face up to the fact that the past is gone, and any effort to repeat is a sure way to stay stuck in old blueprints that u would have already outgrown if u hadn't been so busy clinging to what u have already been through.

Soul
Yeap, abandonment and relentless criticism both which denotes my own perception of unlovability is gone.

I think also, I know I can disidentify with my mind. I must continue to do so.

5. Resolution
The Understanding
The Master
The whole work of meditation is to make u aware of all that is "mind" and disidentify yourself from it. That very separation is the greatest revolution that can happen to man.
Now u can do and act on only that which makes u more joyous, fulfills u, gives u contentment, makes ur life a work of art, a beauty.

Soul
Actually if I don't listen to my mind there is no problem. Its only when I project past into future that I start to feel like a victim and start to worry.

But if I don't listen to my mind. Who do I listen to???

The Power of Now
As there is more consciousness in the body, its molecular structure actually becomes less dense. More consciousness means a lessening of the illusion of materiality.
When u become identified more with the timeless inner body than with the outer body, when presence becomes ur normal mode of consciousness and past and future no longer dominates ur attention, u do not accumulate time anymore in ur psyche.
Ur outer body grows at a much slower rate and ur timeless essence will shine through the outer form and u will not give the appearance of an old person.

Soul
Another motivation to stay in the Now. Yday the gal said that she tot I am in mid thirties like her.