Transformation did happen (4) - Self Control is a cover up

Feb 25 Transformation

My dream of Self Mastery is a tool to prevent me from needing anyone. When I can master myself I don't need anyone. And I cannot even be hurt by abandonment.

What I admire most of Z is his courage. He has a few failed rships and yet he still believed he can find one and to proceed ahead. I wonder how did he do it?
Me, haven't even enter already afraid.

Physical level awareness (qualities that I need. So I need to be aware)
Sexuality - issue, blocked.
Reassurance - issue
Adventure - issue
Harvest - issue

Transformation area
1. You are set back by your humiliation on ur present level.
Soul - becos I was abandoned. The queen in me is humiliated and I swore not to need anyone. Now I know that it is not true.
Its ok as there is no true humiliation, it was just in my mind. I was so lovable and that's why many doctors wanted to take care of me. They go away not because I am not lovable because they have to go. It is because I am so lovable that I have so many wrongly perceived 'abandonment'. Happy problem.

2. I forgive everyone
I forgive myself
I forgive all past experience
I am free!
Soul - I tot it was my fault that I need someone and leading people to abandon me. And I cannot forgive myself for losing control.
Father, now I forgive myself and everyone. I am free to love again.


3. You are set back by your control on your present level.
Soul - I have used my control to avoid needing anyone, to avoid loving anyone, to ensure no one can love me.
Father, now I am not on auto control anymore. I need not be afraid.

4. You are set back by your victimisation on ur present level.
Soul - I tot I was a victim. Actually I am not.

5. If I don't understand it. I am not going to accept it.
Soul - now I know the true reason behind my dream of Self Mastery, the true reason why I cannot go on an adventure with Z.

Emotional Awareness card
Spontaneity - issue
Outrageousness - issue
Permission - issue
Forgiveness - issue
Risk - issue
Release - issue
Gratitude - yes/no
Enjoyment - yes/no
Passion - yes/no
Nurturing - issue
Patience - issue
Absurdity - issue
Feelings - issue
Nourishment - issue

Transformation

Setbacks
1. You are set back your protection on ur present.
Soul - I protected myself from loving others and in then end prevent others from loving me.

2. A world crisis moves all players onto depression - 4 pain(Universal feedback -God's Will for me is complete happiness.)
Soul - I brought unhappiness to myself. I prevent love from coming in. My resentment is against myself.

3. You forgot you were a radiantly beautiful cosmic miracle. You forgot everyone else was too!
Soul. - yeap. But now I know m lovable.

4. Misery love company.

5. You use ur critical perception to draw forth perfection, not to tear it down.
Soul - yeap

Insights
1. You follow through on ur commitment. Gain
2. Its easy for me to be myself at all times. Gain
3. Wizard of love, your being casts spells of joy and lights. 4 gain
4. My personality is radiant with trust.
5. You do what's needed


Universal feedback
1. God's Will for me is complete happiness.

Message from Fairies
1. Your Wish is Granted!

What you've asked for is coming true.

The fairies know how to magically manifest all of their material needs and desires, and they also assist people - like urself - in making their dreams come true.
This card represents that the fairies are very happy to grant ur wish.
They work with universal forces and energies, but u can also help your prayer rapidly manifest by going with the flow in ur own life.

Stay as centred and peaceful as possible because negativity could block ur desire.

Go outside in nature to keep ur spirit soaring with the magical energies of joy and gratitude.

Your tots are manifesting into form quickly, so be sure that ur silent prayers and spoken words are aligned with ur desires and not ur fears.

Trust in the Universe. Keep a sense of wonder and awe.

Soul
Transformation card game in end Sept. I went to India in end Oct. After I came back from sathsang in Nov is when I first start to go dinner with them. That was the start. Dec we had our first date and quarrel. Jan we had our first trigger. Father, U will me only happiness!