Cosmic Reward (2)

Mar 14 Aft

Father, tell me what's the projection with the teacher. I know I dented her ego.
But she needed to be taught a lesson and now she is going on a witch hunt.
I wanted to end all and asked her to find another sathsang guide. Frankly, I don't want to be a sathsang guide. Mmm, perhaps I am pushing for this. Earlier my intention was just to hold the group together.

Father, my first tot was since she has so many issues with me, which to me meant rejection. So, I want to reject her too.
Do I really want to be Sathsang guide!!! No.
Do I want to be Isha following member?? No.
Father, is this past pain or present.
Frankly, I already let go. But her email on the notes triggered me again. She is like a dog who won't let go.
Aiyah, I will go into Now. U let me see.

The only reason I want Sathsang was the chance to practice my fear of public speaking. Its nothing to do with blessing or glory of being a guide.

Spoken to V. Just let her be. Agreed with him.

Saw my Seven of Heart. U will be tested to see just how attached we r to others being a certain way. If we can allow others to be who they are and not place so many demands upon them, we not only become aware of their true personalities, but also we allow ourselves the freedom to be just who we are and experience just how it feels to be free of fear and attachment.

Soul
Tot of me and teacher. Let it unfold.