Cosmic Reward (7) Abandonment issue with Z force me to be present.

Mar 17

Father, yea. I was thinking of the future. Seeing it as a problem to be resolved. No wonder Z doesn't want to reply me. Father, let it be lah. Its like the more u want to get it done, its difficult. I know we be fine.
Just now also worried I made him irritated cos I teased him. He is already disturbed. He cannot understand why his No is not taken as truth by them. I guess he is worried that they could be right.

Mmm, guess today my mind is working overtime. Need to balance it. Just go with the flow. He already said its fine.
Mmm, what answer can I help him.
My mind is saying that I cannot open up becos of the childhood issue. I don't think so. I think both Z and I need to work it out.


The Power of Now
What is essential is ur conscious presence. That dissolves the past, but be as present as u can. The past cannot survive in ur presence. It can only survive in ur absence.
It helps to be deeply rooted within urself; otherwise, the mind, which has incredible momentum, will drag u along like a wild river.
Inhabit ur body fully. To always have some of ur attention in the inner energy field of ur body. Body awareness keeps u present.

Presence is needed to become aware of the beauty, the majesty, the sacredness of nature. The mind needs to be still. When u present, u feel its essence, its holiness - just as u know urself, u feel ur own essence, ur own holiness.

(Apr 23 - Father, for the past 2 months, I am aware of the beauty and majesty of trees...this means I am now present.)

Late Afternoon
Such a coincidence. He was at my office for meeting and didn't plan to meet. Somehow, we have a mutual friend who wanted to see me. At first, I asked her to come up. Later, when she called me, I offer to go down to lobby to see her. Instead of just my friend, Z and his partner was there waiting for me. Of course, I was bit off at the surprise. He looks happy to see me and even intro me to his partner. Whereas, I just want to ignore him. He is going to laugh at me.
Father, how lah. I should be so happy but somehow I am feeling bit down. Don't know why, but I just want to go back.
　
　
Soul
I now can see the beauty, aliveness of trees and plants. Amen.