Monday, May 13, 2013

Facing my Outsider card..but this time awareness arise

May 12
Walked in the park and had tots of Z. Sadhguru says that body got memories and hence break up is painful. So I just accept the tots and comfort it by saying there is abundance of love out there.

Just now received call from P on the volunteer issue. I was bit irritated as first preference is for the volunteer to call the person directly. Then if she can't, to call me instead as I was the handler. And when P called has to pass to me too. Was getting real irritated and negative tots start to arise. I wanted to say to C about it and said that I too cannot talk to his wife directly since she can't speak to me.
Then I realised it was my Outsider card. I felt left out. I remind myself I never had Sr's approval. She was just feeling fearful, nothing personal. Then I got irritated at myself. Then I just sang, love me tender, love me deep. Love me ever more. Father, I was judging myself for being so 'weak' that I needed validation even from people I don't need to.
Then the msg from M saying he won't attend Sathsang. My mind spiral and said maybe time to change Sathsang guide.  Then I stopped. He could have his own reason; nothing to do with guide.

Father, guide me through today.

No wonder. Seven of Spades - card of faith
Challenge u to higher levels of thinking, speaking and acting.
If u r willing to take responsibility for ur condition and practice positivity in spite of circumstances, u can realise the powerful spiritual potential of this card and attain new heights.

Soul
This is Z card too. No wonder much tots on him today.
Neptune day.

Mmm, a start of Queen Of Spades in 52 days Neptune too. Opportunity for Self Mastery.

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