May 12
Walked in the park and had tots of Z. Sadhguru says that body got memories and hence break up is painful. So I just accept the tots and comfort it by saying there is abundance of love out there.
Just now received call from P on the volunteer issue. I was bit irritated as first preference is for the volunteer to call the person directly. Then if she can't, to call me instead as I was the handler. And when P called has to pass to me too. Was getting real irritated and negative tots start to arise. I wanted to say to C about it and said that I too cannot talk to his wife directly since she can't speak to me.
Then I realised it was my Outsider card. I felt left out. I remind myself I never had Sr's approval. She was just feeling fearful, nothing personal. Then I got irritated at myself. Then I just sang, love me tender, love me deep. Love me ever more. Father, I was judging myself for being so 'weak' that I needed validation even from people I don't need to.
Then the msg from M saying he won't attend Sathsang. My mind spiral and said maybe time to change Sathsang guide. Then I stopped. He could have his own reason; nothing to do with guide.
Father, guide me through today.
No wonder. Seven of Spades - card of faith
Challenge u to higher levels of thinking, speaking and acting.
If u r willing to take responsibility for ur condition and practice positivity in spite of circumstances, u can realise the powerful spiritual potential of this card and attain new heights.
Soul
This is Z card too. No wonder much tots on him today.
Neptune day.
Mmm, a start of Queen Of Spades in 52 days Neptune too. Opportunity for Self Mastery.
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