Loving ourselves first - makes us truly loving to others

May 6
Woke up an hour later, so only did one cycle of Surya kriya. Lovely. Wish everyone can practice it.
Breathing was nice. Shakti and Shambavi was ok. There were little tots.

Father, thank U for helping me thru the moments. Me, back to myself.

Be the Change
Marc Ian Barasch - we have to create a gap between action and reaction, and that is what meditation allows us to do.

Soul
True. There were tots of Z but I don't follow it nor act on it. I just let the tots flow.

Be the Change
For loving kindness to become an integral expression of our lives, we have to start by developing it for ourselves. And yet this is the hardest place to begin - how easy it would be if we could just skip this bit and start straight in with loving others!
But without a true caring and kindness for ourselves, then our capacity to direct these qualities toward anyone else is limited. If we do not appreciate ourselves, then our love for others will be based on trying to find the love we need, in which case, it will not be genuine and unconditional.

Soul
Very true. I always try to inform others of this, but little I know that I was relentless on myself.

Be the Change
It is extraordinary how difficult it can be to genuinely care for ourselves. It means being tender when we make mistakes and not putting ourselves down, however subtly. Every time, we say something uncalled for, make a fool of ourselves, or feel unworthy - in all those moments, we can bring acceptance, kindness and friendship; we can embrace ourselves just as we are.

Debbie Ford - be caring and compassionate to yourself. Ninety nine percent of the 'abuse' that happens is going on internally. If we want an external change, we have to start with ourselves.

Soul
These days when I faced relentless inner judgement; I just stop the negative tots by saying "love me" and I found it helps. It stops the tots.

Father, firstly I got the Wounded child card and then compound it with the Burden card. For now, I will remove the Burden card. I put my inner shadow brother there and I can remove it.

Be the Change
When we are affected by someone being hostile, dismissive, critical or hurtful, then it is often because there is a hook in us for that negativity to grab hold of, a place where it can land that triggers all our hidden feelings of unworthiness, insecurity, doubt, even self hate.
However, when we extend kindness towards such a person, as we can in meditation, an extraordinary thing happens: the landing place or the hook within, begins to dissolve. There is no place for negativity to take hold.

The negative reactions that arises within us during moments of discord or disagreement cause continued suffering and conflict.

Soul
I have not been able to do this yet. I tot my wounded child will never heal. Thanks for giving me a way.
For now, I focus on loving myself and so stopped the inner shadow brother.

Be the Change
Extending kindness toward the adversary is, therefore, really extending it towards ourselves, as it releases the inner pain and puts us into a more balanced place.
As we focus on the adversary, all manner of divergent feelings may arise about what happened, about who said what to whom, and what someone did or did not do. To get to loving kindness, we have to accept those feelings while also letting go of the story, releasing the details.
Who did or who said what is not relevant; what matters is the shared human experience. Hurt and disagreement and anger arise when we forget our essential unity and hang out in separate, isolated places, while knocking heads with each other.
When we can tolerate ourselves, then we can be tolerable towards others and extend kindness to all, equally.

Soul
Amen.