Forgiveness is the key to release Z

May 24
Father, I had 2 consecutive dreams on having rship. The first one was me having an ex colleague as a boyfriend. He brought me to see his mom and he holds my hand. Then on second day I had a dream on Z.
Looks like rship is in my list. Me now reading Cosmic Love again. The last time I read was for me and Z. And my focus was more on South Node. Now I can focus on North Node.
My tots now is Z is truly over and I m ready to face new love. No point pining over Z. It will never happen. Two months ago I said the same and now still on it. Let Z be bygone.

Father, part of me bit judging on myself for wanting a rship. But that's me. Such irony. To the outside world, I don't need it. But to me I know I want it.

Cosmic love
If there is someone in our past whom we still blame for betraying us or hurting us, we remain bonded to them as long as we hold on to that blame. Ultimately if the other person is unwilling to "work it out" with u, the process of forgiveness is ur key to totally releasing the connection to ur soul.

Soul
Well, I wish Z could have a good chat with me. But now not sure if that will help. Like he would say; break up is inevitable, why prolong.
I lost my last hope of Z last week. Guess that's also why I was grieving, not just on food. But I m proud of myself. I did good. I learned my Saturn in Aries with Z and now faced my Pluto in Virgo. I have evolved.

Today I start to miss meat. But I choose my body. I like that it is more healthy. My diet change has been on for the past 2 months.

Cosmic Love
Each of us will go through whatever we need to experience in order to learn how to create success in every area of life that's important to us. Nothing happens by accident. Either way, what happens to us during our lifetime is always a blessing, no matter how it may seem at the time. Our journey can be more pleasant and difficult situation less painful - when we are aware of that truth. In my own life, whenever "adversity" arises, I immediately clarify my intention by responding "Life loves me and somehow this is going to work to my benefit". So every challenge I have encountered has expanded my ability to experience life from a more conscious, positive perspective.

Soul
I only know when God closes a door, He opens a window for me. I know the lesson with Z was crucial for my inner development. I know myself more deeply after our break up. For now I don't feel blessed yet. Maybe in future.

Just now try to check Osho on rship. But I saw my Three of Diamonds today. So, I stop checking Osho half way. Be focused on letting go of Z. He is no more. So, don't bring him back.

Cosmic Love
In any rship, both people readiness and level of commitment to success has a lot to do with the outcome. If a person is ready to commit to making the rship work, and is willing to give the time and energy that can make it successful, many things that might be ordinarily be difficulties can be dealt with and overcome in a harmonious way.

Soul
When I read this, I can say Z just drop us. He never values us. Really sad. Tears are coming again. Then judgment came, why I had gives myself hopes when there are none. How many times do I need to be proven he never care for me.
Just now when I was watching Iron Man 3; I was envious when he declared she was the most important person in his life. I wish someone says that about me.
To Z I was the least important. I m sad now, the Parent in me beating me up.
Lets not go there.
Feeling better now. Amen. Just need to release and acknowledge the sadness.

Cosmic Love
Another factor that can greatly enhance the quality of a relationship is if both people have a commitment to a similar spiritual path. When two people are willing to grow and work on themselves, and have a level of awareness that allows them to put the health of the rship above the ego need to "be right". The values and spiritual maturity of two individuals must be naturally compatible in order for true bonding to occur.

Soul
Instead of thinking I m too little, I could be too much for Z.

Now saw that apart from North node in Taurus, I also have to read my 11th house and that happens to be North node in Aquarius, which is Z's north node. As I was reading it, I can see the truth especially in my non romantic rships. And it also explain my lifetime Seven of Heart challenge. Was bit scary and I got to stop reading it. Didn't realise that part was also my mirror with Z.
I do have superiority complex. And I do make Z feel inferior my financial freedom. I recalled I reacted strongly about him spending his last dollars. And he remembers it.
Father, me now facing leadership in Isha and learning about this is real helpful. I applied it at work via ACIM. And now I got to do the same in volunteering.