Mind stir up Z again

Apr 30 aft
Suddenly tot of Z, miss him. Then I remember he has a King of Hearts in 52 days, so he must now be a lover to some gal. He is getting married in July; two and half month to go.

Tot of myself, in last July when I quit my job and Z broke off with me. What a turbulent year. Now coming to an end, my birthday is another 2 months away. Both Z and I be facing our separate lives.

Did my Shoonya, so peaceful.
I felt like I was in a deep sleep.

Mmm, I noticed when there is no drama in my life, the mind will always turn to Z to stir me up. It's the past.

Be the Change
When we trust awareness, when we rest in one who knows, we come to a place of well-being that is beyond the changing circumstances of the world. And it is this that makes the heart happy and free.

Soul
Amen. I have not come to this yet. But I know I can always rests in my Soul via meditation.

Mmm, why the mind stir up Z or rather can't be still. I want to just rest in me. I just released my shadow brother yday. 

Aiyah. Be at ease. I love him. It's ok that I miss him. Just have to accept this. Also to accept we are never going to be. Stay in the middle. Feel better now when I don't suppress nor judge myself.

Now reading Ed and Deb story. Deb says Ed gave her permission to be angry. I tot of Z. I once told him I love him cos he let me be myself. But perhaps he let me be because he knew I m not the one for him, cos he can be a control freak.

Father, suddenly I tot about him clicking like in my FB twice. But I ignored it. Now, no more like. Aiyah. I don't want to be a fool.