Finally seeing how lovable I am

Apr 29 eve
Father, S was going on with her parental mode. This time I cut her off. I told her she doesn't know background story and hence she need not comment. Just realised she trying to 'teach'. Father, this is another one fellow to avoid. Anyway, this time I am able to stop her battering.

I spoke to A about it. He immediately said that S can't handle E and hence attack me instead. Mmm, alternative tot.

I was driving back, feeling tired. I told myself I did we'll today. I am such a good person. I m smart, I m kind, I am compassionate.
I m real blessing to the world.

Then suddenly tears came and I cried loads. I cried that for so long I couldn't see how great I am; didn't realised I am so very lovable.
I cried that I love my brother but I no longer needs him to live in me. I no longer need to love me the way he did. I want to love myself differently. I was crying non stop, over and over again I said I love myself. Z doesn't love me but I love myself. I know my family love me. I know my brother love me too; just his approach not right.

Last few days, thanks to P, teacher and N and now finally S; all the external Parental figures; I finally able to release the Inner parent in me. I finally release my shadow brother from me.

Alas now I know I m truly lovable.
Now I know why I got Ace of Heart today.

Did Shoonya, felt at peace. Amen.

Be the Change
If we deny anger, fear, shame or blame, then they will follow us wherever we go; if we hold on, then it is the ego holding onto the need for some form of recognition.
When we can witnessed without attachment, then pain is acknowledged and once acknowledged, it no longer requires attention.
Making friends with the content of our own minds in this way shows us that behind even the darkest pain and difficulty is the happiness. All we need is the courage to look.

Soul
This ends my lesson. Amen.