Love is truly not attachment

May 2
Woke up to do my practices. The asanas were good. Shakti was ok. Shambavi was good. What was surprising was only little tots of Z despite yesterday call. And amazingly for the first time I didn't take it as personal rejection and infact tot I must be truly lovable for him to avoid me or he must be feeling really guilty. Since I can see he doesn't feel guilt, so must be former.
Towards the end, silence and halfway thru suddenly I start to sing and dance. There was no song in my mind, body just want to dance.
At the end, I says my prayer of thanks to Father, Sadhguru, Masters, Vijii, Thillai, Z and myself. I love Z. I love me.

Father, now I know it is truly over. My attachment on him is over. I love him but no longer need his validation. Loving him and having him is two separate matter. Could this be unconditional love. It is possible that I m love itself.

My card yesterday
1. Me
Completion
Ur consciousness can witness things which constitute the world. The world will end but the mirror will remain, mirroring nothing
Even in the ever-changing flow of life, there are moments in which we come to a point of completion. We finally able to perceive the whole picture. Whatever has been absorbing ur time and energy has come to an end. In completing, u will be clearing the space for something new to begin. Use this interval to celebrate both - the end of the old and the coming of the new.

Soul
I got this card the second time. I used to be sad on ending or relieve that is ending of suffering. Infact yesterday I too was bit apprehensive.
Today I m just silent, savouring the moment. Loving him and not having him. Finally ending attachment.

2. Z
Transformation
Zen is not a believer's world. It is not for the faithful ones;
It is for those daring soul who can drop all belief, unbelief, doubt, reason, mind and simply enter into pure existence.

Soul
He can't do this. He will just run.

3. Composite
Sorrow
The pain is not to make u sad. It is to make u alert.
Time of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation.
In order for transformation to happen, we must go deep, to the roots of our pain, and experience it as it is, without blame or self-pity.

Soul
Yesterday before I call him I was sad. I wanted to ask him why am I still affected by him.
Thanks to Sadhguru's video on karma. He said we make the suffering ourselves and hence we can undo it ourselves. That msg prodded me to call Z to clear the air.
After the call and no response from Z, silence descend on me. I was surprised yday on the lack of disturbance and tot that it may be due to my delayed reaction. I tot the disturbance will come tomorrow.

4. The insight
Inner Voice
If u have found ur truth within yourself, there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. Truth is functioning through u. It is truth speaking, it is truth resting; u r silent. It is truth that is silent
Ur whole life becomes a prayer  without words or better to say a prayerfulness, a grace, a beauty which does not belong to our mundane world, a ray of light coming from the beyond into the darkness of the world.
The Inner Voice is able to accept both the dark and the light. Clarity comes from transcending all dualities.

Soul
Z didn't pick up the phone and it doesn't matter.
What matter is me going beyond my fear of darkness and step into the Light. Morning has come  and I m freed.
I love him and I m no longer attached to him.
Amen.