Singing from beyond

May 10
Did my 5 cycles of surya kriya. During 4th cycle had a tot on Isha event and suddenly lose focus. Surya kriya really need focus n perhaps that's why it is meditative in nature.

Breathing was good. Shakti and Shambavi were not great. There were intermittent tots of Isha event that is coming up. I just let it be. I tot finale be very low key. I was surprised that I was singing and dancing in the end too. This time singing "love me tender, love me deep, love me evermore".
This singing is not mine. In the end when I wanted to end the session, suddenly I exploded into singing again. The singing is from my Soul as I cannot hear the preceding tots in my mind and I know I was actually thinking about something else.
Father, thank U for everything.

Father, I am truly a pessimist. And my fear of losing validation really govern my inner life. Need to address this. But on a positive note, no longer have tots of Z. I just remind myself of abundance.

Now reading my Natal chart description in my blog on Nov 2009.
Mercury in Cancer
Need to reduce my patterns of nagging self criticism.

Soul
I have learned of my inner Parental mode. I truly judge myself loads.

Venus in Leo
U struggle to be loving, lovely and loved.

Soul
Quite true. My cosmic reward is Nine of Hearts.
And when I m meditating, always singing love songs of me loving others. But just the last two weeks, singing others loving me instead.
I know I m at a different phase in life.

Mars in Libra
If u r restless and irritable, u need to meditate.

Soul
Very true. Amen.

Jupiter in Leo
U r highly competitive and unrelenting in the pursuit of ur goals. Super power and super riches can be yours.

Soul
Definitely not seen yet.
My Pluto and Saturn so strong. I bet they are opposite to my Jupiter.
Me now just start to use the word 'abundance' at age 46


Venus in Leo
I seems to be far away. Mmm, a tot occur to me. Jupiter also in Leo. And I would say I don't display Leo, except that I don't like to be told what to do. I like to do my way.