Looking at my life lessons/resistance

May 16
Slept after 12.30 am and woke up at 5.30 am. Just did one cycle of surya kriya. Did a short breathing. Shakti was good. Shambavi was fine. I did a slower car stretch as elbow joints are better.
Silence in the end. Plough back now getting better. As I was about to do closing invocation, suddenly a blast of joy came in and laughter erupted. I laughed for quite a long while.

There were much lesser tots today. Tots flow in and out as I didn't hang on. When tots come in, I seem to pause and decide whether to get hooked or not. Except for Z, got hooked one or two times but I didn't hold on long.

As I was driving, I saw the loveliness of grass on the road. I saw the trees. They are so beautiful.

Yesterday teacher said Sadhguru wants to have volunteer run program cos it gives adds a flavour to the whole pgm. And to her, she too felt more profound in volunteering. She said some people can offer just by being there but mostly all can do only by action. She explained volunteering beautifully. Her experience of volunteering is similar to C.
But I have resistance still. Never mind I used to resist Indian food, now can eat. I used to resist Indian culture, and now I can wear Indian tops on daily basis.
Maybe that's my resistance. After 4 years finally accepted Sadhguru and Dhynalinga.
After nearly 3 years, I no longer have resentment being Sathsang guide.
As for IE pgm, I can feel the resentment coming up. Wish I can talk to someone.
And Isha is build on volunteering. What an irony? My greatest lesson then.