Finally overcome my fear of water - alas can swim breast stroke style

May 4
I can finally swim breast stroke after nearly 15 years.

Woke up and have this tot in my mind :
It is my weakness - need to be in control - need to confront and close.

It is Z's weakness - need to be in control - need to avoid and close. He told me that he would change his mobile number whenever he goes thru major change. He did it Twice. So his style of closure is go off, disappearing.

My style of closure always upfront, all clarification given, no misunderstanding, so no regrets.

I only do deletion if I m angry. Guess I didn't want Z to leave that way. Angry with me. Maybe Z perception is different from mine.

Both of us wants to be in control. Father, answer is getting near.

Went for a swim. It was not a fluke. I can actually swim breast stroke now. I swim almost all lap on breast stroke. I was able to swim 4 rounds without stopping on breast stroke.

It also occur to me, I had a great ending with Z. The point of no discussion is Z's weakness and not mine. I have overcomes my fear of rejection. I have ended it well. Amen. Nothing more to do.

Alas, I understand Coming Home card.

Six of Diamonds
Whenever this powerful stabilising influence is present in ur cards, u can bet there will be some sort of settling of accounts. It can be in terms of values.
Today is Uranus.

Soul
Yes. Unexpectedly I finally changed my perspective on no closure discussion between Z and me. It has ended well. To do more is not necessary.

And unexpectedly I m finally at home in water. After nearly 15 years of learning to swim. I finally can swim breast stroke calmly. My body loves breast stroke style. Given a choice between free style and breast stroke, it chose breast stroke every time today. Amen.

Alas, finally at home with my emotion. Never tot this day will come. I had actually given up hope. I tot free style was the best I can do in this life time. Alas, it is not so. U have given me back my faith in myself. Amen.