Loving myself

May 9
Lovely Surya kriya. By third cycle I was in full meditativeness. Fourth and filth cycle was quite effortless.
Breathing was ok. Shakti was good with Kapala Bhakti. I was trying to find the same posture. Shambavi was good too.

There were some tots of teacher. My inner brother tries to tell me she got a point. But I just waived it. I may be direct but impolite I m not, hurtful I m not.
I was singing and dancing, singing love songs and suddenly I cried out; "I love u" repeatedly.

I wonder why is she affected when others don't view it. I also wonder why P was affected when others are not? Also same for S. They tend to see others as either bit show off or instructive or impolite. Mmm, in reality they are even much more so intrusive of others space.
Mmm, great that there were no tots of Z at all.

As I was driving, I saw the trees looking so beautiful and alive. Suddenly I start to cry and I cried out, "I love u" repeatedly. Father, I was truly starved of love.

I remember there is abundance of love for me. Amen.

Feedback. U only dare to give feedback to people u think will receive it. Or u truly care and hence override ur concern on the possible outcome. I must be really approachable as everyone can give their feedback to me without fear. I used to take all in without barrier. I used to judge myself. I then try to change, to improve.
As for giving others feedback, I can do beautifully and most times reception was good.
What I need to learn is to evaluate feedback objectively. I need add my inner judgement to it. Ultimately everything is neutral.
Father, suddenly I felt that I need to go back to ACIM.
When I did back in 2002 to 2008, I was doing forgiveness for others, removing my judgement on others. Now that I know I had huge inner judgement on myself. Maybe time to re-look. Need to re-wire my mindset for abundance too.