Oct 11 eve
Took a late afternoon nap. Had a dream of Z and our friends. Playing games in garden. I just know that in the dream I was angry with him.
Father, a dream. I have come to the final truth. He truly doesn't want me.
Let this sink in. In the end whenever someone truly wants something, we would provide our justification for it.
Went for a walk in the night market. When I stepped out of house, the trees never looked so green, dark green, so luscious and suddenly my mind start to sing love songs. It lasted all the way as long as the trees were there. My high definition eye sight is now constant or perhaps I m now more aware.
Just did my evening Shoonya and Samyama.
Shoonya was ok. Samyama was good. Just lovely sitting there. Did Bhairavi song since Navaratri's period. When the song was on, I found myself crying; I said no more, no more going back.
Feels good after release.
This week Osho resolution card
Awareness
Burdened by the memories of the past, burdened by the projections of future, u go on living - at the mininimum. Once u start dropping tots, the dust that u collected in the past, the flame arises - clean, clear, alive, young. Ur whole life becomes a flame, and a flame without smoke. That is what awareness is.
Let yourself settle and remember that deep inside u r just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged. A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help u to become detached and a new awareness will lift the veil from ur eyes.
Soul
Just focus inward.
Resolution
Understanding
U r out of jail, out of the cage; u can open ur wings and the whole sky is yours.
Just drop clinging to this cage, move out of the cage and the whole sky is yours.
Soul
Amen.
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