We are all hiding our wounds...covering it under romantic love

Sept 30 (1)

Today just sitting in my practices and knowing my centre gave me contentment. Father, I have always been comfortable alone in the outer world and hence didn't put much importance to the contentment alone during practices. Today I realised that it is different. It is unique, the depth of me. There is a deep abiding peace within me.

For once I knew that perhaps I may not truly need a partner like what my mind keep telling me.
Logically I knew partner can't give me this inner peace and infact can disrupt it.  That's why I don't want a traditional marriage with children. So, why I think I need it?
Z even told me that based on his experience and others, happiness in marriage cannot exceed 2 years and after that it is just living in family. That's why children so important as it keep them going.
Father, since he already experienced and knew; why go through it and repeat the same? At least I haven't experience it and has hope.

Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
We are all afraid. And we do not open our eyes and look around to see what the matter is because we already fear that what we are seeing is not really there. We are hiding our wounds. If we uncover them and see, then it will be known that there is a wound. So we have hidden the wound and worn gold bracelets on top of it. The bracelets are seen, not the wound. And seeing the bracelets, we think that everything is all right. But have bracelets ever healed any wounds? That wound goes on growing bigger and bigger inside until it becomes ulcer.

Our whole life is a self-deception, where there is nothing worthwhile. We feel that there is nothing, but we are also afraid that we are living with just the help of these illusions, and if we open our eyes and find out that these too do not exist, then how shall we continue to live.

Soul
Yeas, my need for having a partner is to cover the wound. And my need for marriage is to ensure that partner is committed and won't leave as I won't.
If I truly believed I m love; I need not have a partner to show me.
Its true I may have wrong strategy in romantic relationship by not setting parameter. But in the end perhaps I unconsciously don't set, don't ask cos my need for closing the wound is more important than acting intelligently.

Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
One need blind eyes before one can says that love is eternal. When u r in love with somebody it seems that this love will last forever and no power on earth can break it. U r under great illusion. No big powers are needed, in fact, no outside powers are needed at all. U yourself will do the job of breaking it, u alone are enough for it.
Love is ephemeral. When love blossoms, that too is a flower and it will fade.
In the West, only sex remained. There seems no possibility of love and only sexuality remained. But it is very difficult to give depth to life on foundation of sexuality. And it is very difficult to create a family on the basis of sexuality. And if sexuality is the only reality, then it is worthless to undergo so many troubles, the many responsibilities of the family system.

Soul
I tot I was smart. I knew about the many responsibility of family life and hence opted for no children.

Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
When the eyes are open, hell is seen. You also come across occasions every day when u see hell. Life is such that u will choose detachment on ur own.
Life is such that detachment is bound to happen, it is not as if u have to make tireless effort for it. In fact u r making tireless effort so that detachment does not arise.
The whole message of life is detachment. Life brings u sorrow from all directions, but still detachment does not arise. Life breaks u down, disappoints u in every respects, tears u apart, but detachment still does not arise in u - it is a miracle!
Otherwise the natural flow of life is towards detachment.

In attachment is the birth of life, and detachment is the end result. We are born out of attachment but if we also die in attachment it only means that we have not heard the message of life.

Detachment is the language of life. If u search, if u do not deceive urself, then all are helpful - a friend as well as an enemy; near and dear ones as well as distant people, all are helpful in leading u towards detachment.

Soul
Sadhguru said that if everything else in ur life has completed, then spirituality begins. That's why the video is called the Pain of Ignorance.

This is deep.
Father, apart from family life; I knew about the pain of relationship. That's why I want to find a low maintenance partner. Someone that I can be with and need not be responsible for. In truth I m looking for a boyfriend but a committed one; hence marriage. I knew rship won't last that's why I wanted a partner that I can grow together with.

A tot came; Why can't u grow on ur own? Why do u need to grow with a partner? What if u can't find a partner that on same pace with u? Wouldn't that slow down ur growth?