I projected my goodness, my need for love to Z...and hence wrongly fall in love

Oct 10 aft 1
Now reading my old journal back in early 2011 to pick up abridged books.
So, had to read my journals on how Z and I started and etc.
Today reading it, no more jerks, no more pain. Just read as if it is a story.

Got this in my old journal back in Feb 2011
When I hear Z's stories of his life, I said silently to him, "You are never going thru hard time again. I am here to love u. You deserved to be loved". He is a real diamond, why didn't the wife appreciate him? Anyway, her loss, my gain.

Soul
When I read this, I suddenly realised I projected my issue of unlovability to him.
It was me that faced hard time and it is me that wants to love.
It is me who deserved to be love.
It is me who is the real diamond.
It is me who needs appreciation.

Father, something is happening within. The past is truly gone.
Two weeks ago, I was worried about having to read the past and fear that I will be hurt again. When I was reading  it a few days ago, past come up. But the Samurai Game puts a big closure to the past ast it begins from there.

Cosmic lesson
Seven of Spade
Challenge u to rise to higher level of thinking, speaking and acting in areas where u r likely to be holding some negative patterns that need to be changed.
If u r willing to take responsibility for ur condition and practice positively in spite of circumstances, u can realise the powerful spiritual potential of this card and attain new heights. In its highest form, this is the card of Faith.
You need to root out any habits that are negative and creating negative results in ur life.
To have success u want, u will have to make some changes in ur behaviour and in ur whole approach to these areas. U need to rise beyond ur normal fears and concerns. U need to adopt a more positive, unattached attitude.

Affirmation
I am tapping into the source of God energy and transforming all the negativity in my life into fearlessness and appreciation. I am living faith.


CLF Lifetime Cosmic Lesson card (1st connection between Queen of Diamond and Seven of Spade)
Z plays the role of 'teacher' for u in some fashion in ur life. Their presence in ur life is a reminder of some great lesson that u must learn regarding ur role. They remind u of some of ur own shortcomings and this can be instrumental in ur finding ur path to ur highest potential. There is an unconscious desire in u to find the role that suits u best as it relates to u being a contribution to the world in a powerful and meaningful way.

Affirmation
Z shows me my highest potential and points to my highest role in this lifetime in a way that inspires me to greater heights.

Soul
Finally, yea..I got it.
To be positive..dissolving my Seven of Clubs, Seven of Hearts and finally Two of Diamonds.


Queen of Diamond
Those who have a personal commitment to finding the truth within them will make this journey. They can defy the normal Queen of Diamond pattern and have a successful and long lasting marriage or relationship. The relationship are challenges, not fated curses. With conscious awareness and love, any negative pattern in any Birth Card can be transformed into a high expression of profound beauty.

Soul
Yea, I made it...I know about setting parameters so I get good outcomes on personal and romantic relationships.