Difficult to react to my anger due to validation

Oct 15 aft
The Divided Self by Marlene Cohen
Our behaviour is always based on belief.

Soul
Why I can't retaliate on the attacking messages?
Last time with S I tot she was right. But the last few months when her attacks become too unbelievable and I was able to retaliate.
With La, I also don't believe her accusation but I hold back cos she is a loose cannon. Whatever my response will be taken out of context.
I know I can't handle her and don't want to prolong the episode.

Father, I truly had difficulty in letting go, such irony of Ace.  And my issue of validation is the thing that makes it difficult.

I truly matters means I matters to myself. Whether I matters to others is not relevant. As to others I matters to them only if I m useful to them. 
That's what I told S, a Two of Diamonds.

This letting go of local leadership keeps coming back due to my problem of letting go. So whenever limit is reached, I will cry and had to bolt.

Father, my validation issue stopping me from being loving to myself. I need validation from others cos I couldn't give to myself. I have wrongly attached my value to others validation of me.

Father, I also have difficulty in recognising my limits. So when limits exceeded I bolted unexpectedly.

The Divided Self by Marlene Cohen
There are many factors that contribute to stress, but above all we need unity in which the inner and outer person can function in an integrated way.