Feeling my anger cos I truly matter

Oct 15
Woke up 7.20 am.  Had a dream of fried chicken and I are chicken wings. The strict diet getting to me.

Saw a msg by La accusing me of removing her from whatsapp group chat.
At first tot of replying her nope and infact I was the one who requested her in. But decided not to.
As I sat down I got angry. She has not even regretted her attack on me yesterday and dare to msg me again. Infact with her being a loose cannon; not surprised if she could have said wrong things and was removed.

Start to sing guru pooja using the lyrics but after the first verse, I keep on crying non stop. I cried that I matters. No more being a guide, no more forcing myself to do things that makes me cry.
Five cycle of Surya kriya was good. Breathing was nice. Shakti was great with full focus on Kapala Bhakti. Shambavi good too. Love the preparatory steps. Towards the end was contentment. But whenever I tot of going back to Isha leadership I cried.

I ended by singing love songs. I know then that I just need to treat myself lovingly and all these mirrors will disappear. I don't judge them, and not really angry at them. That's the part that worry me. Is something wrong with me? I asked for answer, a tot of reading the Divided Self came.


Got this from FB
Sadhguru
Once the transformation has taken place, it was impossible for the butterfly to return to being a worm. In the cocoon, the caterpillar had become one with its inner being and in this union with the body and the divine it has reached its ultimate nature.
What happened in the cocoon can be described as yoga.

Ireland Mindfulness.
When u find yourself cocooned in isolation and cannot find a way out of the darkness, remember this is a place similar to the place where caterpillar go to grow their wings - Unknown

Soul
Coincidence that both are also about in a cocoon like a caterpillar; period of transformation. 
A tot came. All these parental mode projecting their heavy mirror on me. Not sure why not angry but just sad.
Anyway from now onward just be kind and loving to myself and these people will evaporate from my life.

Got this from FB
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. U really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world - Lucille ball.

Soul
Apt message for me.