Spirituality - falling in love with one's self - I got hope now

Sept 29 eve 1

Just watched TV to get mind off for awhile.
Need some help here.
Guess first thing is don't judge. Now that control is off, feeling more.

Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Mind is change. Mind's nature is change, flow. The mind will always discover a channel and start thinking. This is the difference between meditation and thinking. Meditation means cessation of thinking, stoppage of flow. It thinking does not begin and dozing does not happen, meditation takes place.

We are all seeking happiness everywhere except within ourselves. And the hilarious thing is that the others themselves are also seeking happiness somewhere else. Everybody has gone somewhere else, so nobody is able to meet anybody - nobody  will ever be able to. So whoever is seeking happiness in some cause will go on falling deeper and deeper misery, because every time there is hope that this particular cause will bring happiness and when it is attained the hope is shattered.

A person who discovers that the source of happiness is within himself does not go anywhere else searching for it; he starts experiencing himself drowned in happiness. He dances, not because of external cause, but because of his own existence.
One's own existence is enough  delight, enough bliss; there is no need to search for any other cause.

Soul
Thanks for the reminder. This morning when doing Surya kriya a blast of joy comes over me and it exploded into long laughter. Amen.

Father, I have found joy within. The mind may say it is not enough. But truly it is the best route.

Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
The world is a journey of falling in love with others, while spirituality is a journey of Fall in love with one's self. Spirituality is selfish. It is search for one's own self, a search for meaning of one's self. It is to rejoice in ur own self, it is to have a taste of urself.
And when this taste starts happening within .... Wait a little, search a little. Feel ur uniqueness, delight in ur own existence, because "What would I have done had I not been born? How could I have complained - and to whom - had I not been born here?
U r in this existence; even this fact, even this much consciousness, this much awareness that ' I am ', the very possibility of glimpse into bliss - just rejoice a little in all this. Let the taste of all this soak into ur very pore. Allow urself to be swept away in the thrill of it.
Start dancing if u feel like dancing, start laughing if u feel like laughing, start singing a song if u feel like singing a song, but remember to remain the centre if it all urself, and let the spring of happiness flow from within urself, not from outside.
Slowly, slowly this moves deep into ur experience and the state that it brings about is the state of masta, the ecstatic one. Masta means one who has become ecstatic in himself.

Soul
I have laugh, sing and dance. But I always tot its just an expression. Just like others have heat, headache, see light, third eye movement or etc.
So I just dismissed mine. The older meditators said this too will pass but mine never pass and infact deepened into song and dance since Samyama.
But perhaps there is more to this expression of bliss.
Let me treasure this bliss instead of dismissing them.

Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Knowing that you are the perpetually blissful soul, always rejoice in this bliss within and without your very soul.

Soul
Keyword is to rejoice my bliss instead of waiving it off. Deepens it. Not brush it off like what others told me.
A tot came; I have already flowered; I just need to be aware. Amen. Feels much better. Just rejoice in my bliss.

Yeah, just like the Swami told me that I won't laugh in Dhynalinga and I listened. For years I blocked it.
Now I open up, I do laugh in Dhynalinga.
Father, they are just trying to prevent noise.