Partner that never leaves is inside me

Oct 7
Woke up with some tots of past. Sat a while in toilet lamenting myself, wish he could have followed his changed path. Then answer came, everyone had their own stories.
Instead of seeing its loss to me. Maybe it could be win to me too.
 A tot came, I have no regrets on my practices. So got up and shower.

Today did guru pooja with more reverence. Will print out to do correctly.
Did my Surya kriya. Legs bit stiff but feet alignment is fine. Now can do the lying down effortlessly. Even at 2nd cycle I feel the kriya happens by itself. Shakti was great and I found myself making bit of sounds during Kapala Bhakti. Shambavi was good too. Not much tots today. But just feeling contented. Knowing that I m growing my inner partner; I did my practices with more intensity.

When I was driving to work. I said I want a partner that never leaves me. Answer came, that partner is within me. It never leaves me.
Today I tot it be great to do guru pooja refresher in ashram. 
Mmm, only few people remembers that I was the lead organiser making the program happens. The old me would have feel bit dented. The new me just accept this. For me, true hero is L and Pa for making this happen. Me, organising is not difficult but not keen. To be a physical volunteer is difficult.

My last week Internal influence card
Sharing
As u move above to the fourth center - that is the heart - ur whole life becomes a sharing of love. The third center has created the abundance of love. By reaching to the third center in meditation, u have become so overflowing with love, with compassion and u want to share.
U find that u can enjoy sensuality without possessiveness or attachment, can give birth to a child or to a new project with an equal sense of creativity fulfilled.

Soul
Amen.

Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Samadhi is when the three - the meditator, the meditation and the meditated upon - when  not the three but only the one remains.
Any seeker who reaches the state of samadhi never returns the same person; he returns a completely new person. On returning all relationships are changed in his mind; however, he does return into the mind. Previously when he was living in the mind, he was a slave of the mind, he had no mastery over anything; the mind was able to get him to do anything it wanted. He had to agree to whatsoever the mind was dictating, he had to run wherever the mind was making him run. It was slavery to the mind; the mind had the reins of the soul in its hands.
When a seeker returns from the doors of samadhi into the mind, he returns as the master. Now the reins are in his own hands. Now he moves the mind where he wants to move it.

Soul
Mind telling me i should feel sad for not being acknowledged for the program. I start to go there. But seeing this I knew that's not truly how I felt. So, sadness evaporated.